


Flicker in the Void

by MargaretKire



Series: Don't Fade Away [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotions, Hurt/Comfort, Hux can soothe Ren with his cool energy, Hux has a little bit of light in him afterall, Hux has been cold his whole life poor guy, Kylo can warm poor cold Hux with the light, M/M, The Force, These two just may be soul mates...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5642815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargaretKire/pseuds/MargaretKire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux watched in silence as the light swept over his body. The power stunned him, as did the bright jet of flame as it licked its color into his eyes. This was not the calm brightness of last night in the presence of Kylo Ren. This was a different sort of light altogether, massive and deadly. It overwhelmed him. For a moment Hux felt an aching regret deep within himself, the sob of someone he used to be, bubbling up from the cold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea that Hux has a teeny tiny bit of light in him.

Hux felt it as soon as he headed down the dimly lit corridor in the upper level of Starkiller Base. A pulse that tingled in the corner of his mind, flitting back and forth like a stray beam of light, warm and electric. He wondered at first if it was the sign of a migraine coming on, though he wouldn’t have described the feeling as painful. It was ticklish rather than uncomfortable. Still, he made a mental note to take a capsule before bed to ward off a potential headache. Tomorrow was too important for him to be indisposed.

The late meeting with his command staff had solidified preparations for arming the weapon. Its death-engine would soon be stoked with the corona of the sun they now orbited. They had talked briefly of the _Finalizer_ , the massive ship circling slowly in orbit around the base, and Kylo Ren had informed them that he would be commanding the bridge of the Star Destroyer while General Hux oversaw the base itself during the attack the following day.

Hux had been somewhat uneasy with this plan. He was concerned over the recent destruction the knight had unleashed against the ship with his lightsaber when one of his officers had informed him of the droid’s escape from Jakku. That loss of control had hinted at something even more unstable in the knight than Hux had realized, and he felt trepidation over handing the volatile man command of his ship.

Adding to the uneasiness, there had been an attitude of hesitancy about the dark figure through the briefing…as though he disdained the base, their plan, the whole business. The knight had obviously been focused on something else, something outside Hux’s plans for total destruction of the New Republic, for their glorious victory, almost as if, as if _it didn’t matter_ , Hux had thought. And for the briefest moment he felt his eyes meet the ones behind the mask, felt the impact of that invisible gaze. There it was again, the feeling he had at their very first meeting - a wrenching conduit of Force energy connecting them for an intense moment before Ren turned, the door flashing open and shut, and was gone.

Now alone in the freezing corridor, Hux was distracted by the fluttering in his mind, that feeling of a small vibrating strand of current shooting across his brain behind his eyes. It grew stronger as he neared the observation lounge located in the northernmost edge of the base. The general pulled his greatcoat tighter, shivering in the persistent cold of the dark hallway. It was so cold here, so cold on the _Finalizer_ , so cold in the void of space, always so cold.

He decided to enter the dark observation lounge, deserted at that time of night, in order to gaze out the windows at the snowy landscape bathed in starlight. Maybe by comparison to the crystals winking in the black sky and over the cold ground outside, he would feel warm.

Hux walked through the open doorway silently, positioning himself in front of the nearest window, when he heard a low voice in the dark.

“I am being torn apart.”

The voice was familiar somehow, though Hux couldn’t place the speaker. He peered into the shadows and at last located the dark outline of a man, his back towards Hux. He somehow knew the voice hadn’t been speaking to him.

The figure of Kylo Ren was turned towards one of the towering windows, bent on one knee before the darkness. Hux thought he was...what? Meditating? Praying?

“Show me again the power of the dark,” came the strangely softened voice. No mask.

“I feel it, the call to the light,” the voice whispered, gently desperate, a plea for forgiveness.

Hux stepped toward the kneeling figure. In an instant the buzzing sensation in his head skyrocketed. An arc of Force energy slammed into him and Hux was enveloped, the light engulfing him, filling him. He was suddenly blind, and so warm. The ice that had run in his veins for as long as he could remember was obliterated in the flash of light.

Hux gasped and the sound was echoed from Kylo as he spun to look at the general. The light was cut off as if a switch had been thrown. Hux stood blinking until he could see again. Ren was now on his feet, standing motionless with his back to the window, his face turned toward Hux.

His face. Hux froze. He had never seen Ren without his helmet. Even in the dim starlight he could see that he was young. That he was...beautiful.

The general flushed and desperately tried to straighten his facial features into their usual mask of cold indifference. He was not successful. And he was most certainly not indifferent.

_Was that blinding warmth the light side the Force?_

He had felt it to some extent around Ren before, but never like this. It had always been a soft charge, like static, that leapt from the knight when he was feeling some strong emotion. It was the reason Hux had goaded him so despicably as they walked down the corridor of the _Finalizer_ the other day. “Careful, Ren,” he had said, curling his lip ever so slightly, trying to hide the hope behind his eyes that the knight would become angry enough to throw a dart of fizzling energy his way. He had been briefly - all too briefly - rewarded with a small arc of buzzing warmth in his head and chest, an invisible finger of Force energy trailing over him in warning.

He never knew the sensation could be as strong as what he had just felt. Hux was freezing cold all of a sudden. Despite his best efforts to control his damnable body, he shivered in the cold starlight as Ren searched his face from across the room. Then the knight turned and ghosted out the door without a sound.

Had he just felt the power of the light side...or the dark? Ren had been praying to feel the dark, but he had also spoken of the call of the light.

_I’m being torn apart._

The Force, Hux had learned through his studies, was supposedly neutral. It was the Force users themselves who always found their talents drawn one of two ways; towards the divine warmth and peace of the light side, or the intensely powerful consumption of the dark side. To have both at once, to never succumb to either, would be agony. No wonder Ren hid behind a mask.

Hux returned to his quarters with his mind full of what he had just encountered and the look of Ren’s tortured shoulders as he curled into himself in despair. Hux began to wonder if Kylo’s occasional outbursts weren’t perhaps, in some small way, warranted. In fact, he found himself rather surprised that the man had enough restraint to only attack inanimate objects and not the crew. After the internal battle Kylo had just projected outward to him, along the tenuous thread of Force connecting them, Hux was somewhat impressed by his restraint. He could have simply killed him for his intrusion, for what they had briefly shared.

Switching on the harsh bathroom light, Hux looked at his own reflection in the mirror as he pulled off his gloves and ran his hands under the hot flowing water in the sink to bring back some feeling. The ice-shrouded base leached heat from him constantly. Even though he wore gloves and a heavy greatcoat, the chill of the frozen planet - with the great destructive weapon nestled in its icy belly - seeped in and stole his body’s slight warmth. These past few nights he had to shower just to return enough heat to his body to keep his teeth from chattering as he slipped into bed.

It was the same as on the _Finalizer_ , where the black void of space constantly sought to rob the massive ship of its heat. It was a craft of war and domination, not built for comfort. It, too, was cold.

As the highest ranking officer on the base, his quarters were furnished with a glowing panel that operated as a fireplace, spreading warmth throughout the cabin when engaged. The upper members of the military all had similar devices installed in their quarters, both here and on Star Destroyers, but the lower ranking officers and troopers did not. Hux felt the need to maintain his own discipline as an example to the men and women under him. They didn’t have a constant supply of ready warmth, so he denied himself as their commander, only using the wall panel when the cold distracted him from his all-consuming work.

Tonight, he snapped it on. As the panel turned from a lifeless gray to a rich orange, brightest at its center, Hux let out an audible sigh and held his hands out to the rich light. The temperature in his room hadn’t dipped any lower than usual, but after the incredible radiant light of the Force he had experienced in Ren’s presence, his room was unbearably cold.

The panel still glowing, Hux changed into a pair of sleeping pants while standing in the bubble of warmth emanating from the wall, the light gleaming on his pale skin. It was a poor substitute for what he had experienced on the observation deck, but it allowed him to brace himself enough to crawl under the cold covers of his bed. The icy sheets slowly warmed to his body. Hux lay curled up on his side, pulling the blankets firmly around his neck and shoulders.

The general tried to tick over the next day’s schedule, making a mental checklist of procedures to go over before the weapon was fired. Yet, he couldn’t help but think of the smaller bed he had slept in as a child. It had been just as cold as this one.

_Have I always been this cold?_

Hux remembered the brief summers of the planet his family had settled on during the unending political game his father had played so well, positioning his son for command. It hadn’t been a planet of pine trees and snow, like Starkiller Base, but a planet of constant freezing rain; a rain that soaked cold through to the bone without ever needing to touch skin. The gray and the damp had chilled Hux just as surely as if he had stood under those stinging drops of water falling from the low sky.

When the summer season finally came, there was a brief month of pale sunlight, weakly trying to evaporate the muck from the planet and warm its cold crust. The frail light had seemed intolerably bright to Hux when it first appeared after its long absence. He had launched himself out-of-doors to soak up the pale rays and feel the slight warmth pry its way inside his skin, reflecting dimly off his bright hair. Then, only a month later, the rain returned.

Hux slowly drifted off to sleep, one part of his mind arranging his meeting schedule, while a smaller part of him remembered the tears he had shed when the clouds had closed in over the city, blocking the light for another year.

***

The following morning Hux was informed that Ren had returned to the _Finalizer_ , and that Starkiller Base was at last fully powered. It was time.

He had written the speech so carefully, mentally working on it since the first moment he received command of the Starkiller project. He knew this day would come, that he would be standing on the massive super-weapon waiting to give the order to obliterate the Republic and bring order to the galaxy.

But as he stood there, gazing out over the black and white grid of Stormtroopers, Hux’s words didn’t have the ring he intended. Not at first. They started out hollow, like he was listening to the voice of someone else. Like he was listening to the cold voice of his father. Yet, as he recited the words he had memorized for years, his mind suddenly flashed back to Kylo Ren crouching on one knee in the darkness, speaking of the call of the light. And then that blinding sensation of warmth…

The general’s words heated at the thought of that warmth and of the light that was about to rip blindingly through the void of space from the weapon curled below his feet. The weapon he had created. His speech was nearing its end. It was almost time. His emotion ramped up.

“And all will remember this as the last day of the Republic,” he yelled. The troops saluted and there was a brief silence. Then the roaring began, deep in the ground, a feral keening of raw energy. The sun’s trapped heat raged beneath the planet's surface, colliding and building, until at last it blasted from the cannon’s mouth, burning up through the atmosphere, a deadly red tidal wave of furious light.

Hux watched in silence as the light swept over his body. The power stunned him, as did the bright jet of flame as it licked its color into his eyes. This was not the calm brightness of last night in the presence of Kylo Ren. This was a different sort of light altogether, massive and deadly. It overwhelmed him. For a moment Hux felt an aching regret deep within himself, the sob of someone he used to be, bubbling up from the cold.

When the red light at last crashed into the five planets of the Hosnian system, Hux felt a small gasp of pain in his head and chest, as though millions of tiny atoms blew apart and then imploded back in on themselves.

The troops cheered. Hux struggled to keep from falling to his knees.

Later, he was informed that when the planets were ripped apart in the beam, Kylo Ren had fallen to his knees on the bridge of the _Finalizer_ , gasping in pain. Shortly afterwards, an officer informed Ren that the droid and the two fugitives had been located on Takodana. The knight instantly took the massive ship to lightspeed to capture the map, one arm wrapped around himself in pain.

***

The next time Hux saw Kylo Ren, the knight was standing before Snoke discussing the scavenger girl from Jakku. The general barged into the cavernous room and was venomous before he had time to think, attacking Ren verbally in front of the Supreme Leader. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Kylo wasn’t wearing his helmet. Hux thought he saw him turn away in what looked like panic before Hux came to a stop beside him, in front of the towering hologram.

Hux didn’t understand why he was so enraged to overhear Kylo discussing the girl; why he felt the instinctive need to lash out and undermine Ren's reasons for taking her - carrying her in his arms, his officers said - and bringing her back to Hux’s base as some sort of prize.

Snoke sneered at him, then gave the general permission to destroy D'Qar once the weapon was recharged. The general agreed, though on the inside a small part of him was screaming that this couldn't happen again; that the pain from last time would kill him. _Not again, please!_

Next to him, Kylo Ren was telling Snoke -  _pleading_ with him, Hux realized - that he could get the map without needing to destroy another system. Even as Hux turned to leave, he could feel the current between them; frantic and small with fear and desperation. As Hux walked further away he could sense the Force reaching out from Kylo towards him, and something inside himself reaching back, small fingers stretching out in unspeakable heartache.

***

Hux watched the tiny blinking light on the screen of the shuttle. The flickering was the only hope he had of finding Kylo before the planet consumed itself. The sensors continued to ping on the knight’s tracker, and soon Hux and a team of Stormtroopers rushed into the blizzard. For just a moment Hux saw the scavenger girl run towards an oddly shaped ship. She was close on the heels of a Wookie stumbling under the weight of their fallen comrade. There was no time to give chase, not if they were going to rescue Kylo in time.

The knight was crushed in the snow nearby, his black robes slashed and his helmet missing. Hux fell to his knees near Ren’s prone body and leaned over him assessing the damage while suddenly fighting for breath. The knight’s eyes were open but he looked stunned. In the lights from the shuttle, Hux could see the bright stain of blood on Ren’s side, more blood pooled and frozen into the ground below. The slash across his face was partially cauterized from the searing heat of a lightsaber.

Hux was worried the man was in shock, that Ren needed immediate medical attention or they would lose him. He told himself this was the only reason he hefted the enormous form into his arms as the earth shook and buckled around them.

“Go! Go!” Hux screamed as soon as they were on the ramp and the shuttle lurched and rose into the sky. Hux set Ren down on a bench as a medic ran over and began examining him. The small craft tore up through the atmosphere and into the waiting bay of the Finalizer as the planet below entered its death throes. The huge ship banked sharply and blasted its engines, propelling them to safety.

Once Hux knew they were out of danger and had relayed flight orders to the bridge, he turned his attention back to Ren as a medical team conveyed him to the infirmary. Hux followed the small group with growing alarm. He could feel what they could not, a current lashing out from Ren consumed with agony. Hux could feel in his mind the wound that pained Ren the most; a gaping hole in his abdomen, piercing his stomach and lungs, burning right through the center of his body and leaping out his back.

 _How could he still be alive?_ The pain was intense, and even though he could only feel the vaguest phantom of the wound himself, Hux stumbled and almost fell as they reached the med bay.

“He has a lightsaber wound in his stomach under his ribs,” gasped the general to the medics. “Hurry, he’s dying!”

The staff instantly went to work looking for the wound, peeling back the black robes as quickly as possible, searching for the fatal hole the general had described. They stripped his torso bare and indeed found a wound, but it was in Kylo’s side and not immediately life-threatening. The flesh over his stomach and chest was smooth and unharmed save for some non-lethal cuts to his upper chest. Hux reached out a hand in disbelief and touched the spot under Kylo’s ribs where the knight was projecting such agonizing pain. The skin was pale and cool to the touch.

Hux pulled back and began to doubt himself as the staff cared for the damage to the man’s body, quickly cleaning the blast mark in his side and sealing it before he could lose any more blood. Another medic treated the slash to his face, disinfecting it before smoothing some cooling gel on the raw skin.

 _Thank god that swipe missed his eye_ , Hux thought with a shiver. Ren seemed like he would live, and for a moment, in the calm of the storm, Hux relaxed. The energy from Kylo was dim but steady, the pain eased a bit from his phantom wound, and there was a glacial coolness emanating from him. He drifted through a soft current, bringing Hux along with him through their thread of Force connection, as they both sailed slowly out onto glassy nothingness. Peaceful and slow. Hux let his eyes flutter closed. After a moment he felt them begin to sink, slowly at first, and then faster. Suddenly they were falling, plummeting off a bridge into a bottomless void.

“No!” both men screamed in unision. Ren’s eyes flew open and Hux felt the pain as his stomach and chest flared. Ren arched his back and slammed himself down on the bed. He bucked and kicked as the staff spun into panicked attempts to keep him from hurting himself as he lashed out.

“Sedate him!” Hux called as he grabbed hold of his shoulders and tried to keep Kylo pinned down. One of the medics approached with a needle. Ren shouted wildly, and with a sickening whip cord of Force threw everyone but Hux clear of the bed. The medic with the needle picked himself up and tried again, only to have the needle flung out of his hands across the room.

Kylo was screaming in agony. Through their strange link, Hux could sense him falling, plunging into the waiting void again and again within his mind while the nonexistent hole flared in the center of his body. Ren arched again and slammed his head back against the wall before Hux could grab him, a sickening crack echoing at the contact. Hux leaned hard into the bed, shifting it away from the wall, as Kylo tried to bash has brains out on the hard surface. Hux scrabbled for his face and held it tightly in his hands, his thumbs in front of his ears and his fingers wrapping around the back of his skull.

 _Kylo_ , he called with the Force. He was untrained, and he obviously didn’t have the same sensitivity that Kylo did, but still the man had heard him. He calmed slightly and stopped bucking, though Hux could still feel him falling in his mind and burning alive at his core.

He moved his face closer and looked into Kylo’s eyes, now gently cradling his head. Slowly Hux closed his eyes and conjured up the image of gray rain on a gray window, the drops hitting softly against the pane in an unending pattern. The drops slowly ran into one another, building to the breaking point under their combined weight before rolling down the glass. Over and over again, the soft drops landing, building, slipping away, calm and soft.

Kylo’s breathing began to settle. He stared at the rain through Hux’s mind as his body slowly began to relax. The burning under his ribs began to subside and he was no longer dropping down into the unending void of his mind.

Hux slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the battered face cradled in his hands. Ren’s eyes slipped closed and his breath became even and steady. Hux watched him for a moment more, ignoring everyone else in the room, until he was sure Kylo was asleep. Only then did he slowly pull his hands away and slip out of the room, leaving Ren to the care of the medics while he made his way to the bridge.

The warmth that had grown in his hands while he soothed Ren remained for a few moments only, before the coldness of space stole it away.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux stood in his personal quarters huddled up against the warmth of the glowing wall panel, so close that his forehead nearly rested on its bright surface. He was dressed for the day, but even with his general’s coat and leather gloves he couldn’t seem to keep any heat in his body. He knew that standing near the heated panel was self-defeating. As soon as he stepped away, he would feel even colder by comparison.

Still he lingered. He wasn’t ready to walk out into the frigid corridors of the _Finalizer_. His eyes slipped closed against the warmth of the heater and his mind drifted to the pale sunlight on the rainy planet of his childhood. Hux breathed deeply, remembering the smell of rain on concrete, the feeling of cold gray all around.

In the corner of his mind he felt a spark of something brighter. A warm light began to grow, seeping into his flesh...safe, inviting, and very much _alive_. Hux’s eyes flashed open and he stepped back from the wall as the panel disengaged and began to fade back to gray. He gave one violent shiver before forcing himself out of his cabin towards the bridge.

He now knew who Han Solo had been and how he had died. He had read the reports and interviewed eyewitnesses. “Pierced through with the lightsaber before falling, still alive, down the oscillator shaft,” one of the them had said. Hux didn’t need to know where the man had been mortally wounded by his son. He knew already. He had felt it burning Kylo alive.

Hux was called back to the med ward about five hours after he left to take command of the bridge. The medical staff had been prepping Ren for immersion in a bacta tank in order to fully restore the wound to his side, which was their primary concern, as well as to help heal the wounds to his face and limbs. The knight had woken up as soon as they lifted his head to secure the breathing mechanism over his nose and mouth, and once again Kylo had used the Force to throw everyone clear of the bed. Panicked, he had then tried to leap up, which only pulled open the wound on his side where it bled down his pale skin and stained the waistband of his pants. Crashing through medical equipment in an attempt to keep upright, Ren had turned the bay into absolute chaos.

Hux ran into the ward only a few minutes after the terrified call from the staff and was confronted by a group of seven wide-eyed and panting men and women. They had Kylo more or less cornered in the bay near the glowing bacta tank. The knight himself was shaking with rage and had a wild look on his face, as though he didn't fully understand where he was or what was happening to him.

 _Not surprising_ , Hux thought. He could sense the confusion seeping out all around him. Kylo's eyes snapped to Hux as the general burst through the door, focusing on him like an anchor in a storm. He held Hux's gaze for a moment then looked doubtfully at the bacta tank glowing faintly blue in the dim lights of the chamber. He gave an involuntary shudder, and Hux felt it suddenly, an overwhelming horror of being immersed in that cylinder, of being trapped and confined.

 _Kylo is claustrophobic_ , Hux realized. Well. That made the choice of a confining mask all the more strange. Hux turned to the medical staff.

"What can be done for him without using the tank?" he asked. Hux was informed that Kylo wouldn't heal as quickly or completely - and would have more scarring - but they could stitch him up manually and add a few coats of medical sealant as well as regularly apply bio gel to his wounds.They estimated he might be on his feet within a few days. Hux agreed to this. He took another look at Kylo, calmer now, realization of his current situation finally reaching him as he focused on Hux's voice.

"I want him moved to his own quarters immediately," Hux said. "Send a medical droid with him and do regular check-ups, but only as necessary. Don't disturb him more than is needed." With his last statement relief flooded through Kylo along with something else. _Gratitude_ , Hux thought, as he turned and walked back to the bridge.

Hux had reports sent to him at the end of every shift on Kylo’s progress, but he didn’t go to check on Ren himself. Even though the knight hadn’t emerged from his quarters, Hux still took the longer path to the bridge, avoiding Ren’s door altogether. When he reached his command post on the third day after rescuing the knight, Hux was given the report that Kylo had made a brief appearance to procure a meal for himself, supposedly the first time he’d eaten since before the devastation of Starkiller Base. Hux relayed the information to Snoke during their holo-conference that afternoon.

“Good,” Snoke said, looking down on the general from his great height. “Let him recover a few more days, and then bring him to the conference chamber. I wish to speak to him, and I require you to be in attendance as well, General Hux.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux responded, somewhat surprised that Snoke didn’t demand to see the knight immediately. He felt a sense of relief that Kylo had a few more days to recover before facing his master. Snoke gazed at Hux for a moment longer, a twisted look of amusement on his face as though he sensed Hux’s compassion and found it beneath contempt. Unnerved by the cold glare above him, Hux bowed and the electric vision winked out in a spit of static.

Instead of turning and bolting for the door as he usually did after a conference with Snoke, Hux stood quietly, smoothing his soft gloves over his face for a minute, like a young child forcing himself to keep awake. Hux dropped his hands to his sides and looked blearily around the room, lost as to what to do next.

The audience chamber on the _Finalizer_ was not as cavernous as the one on Starkiller had been, but it was still an impressive room, cold and dark. He began to shiver. His stomach felt pinched and he wondered when he had eaten last. It was a good excuse to exit the dreary holo-chamber and make his way to the brightly lit officer’s dining hall.

***

Hux dreamed about falling while being burned alive.

The first few nights after the destruction of Starkiller Base, he had been run ragged dealing with the First Order’s crushing defeat with Starkiller, but he also had his hands full with the new opportunities that arose from their grand victory over the Republic. Hux had fallen, dazed and spent, into his bed for a few hours at a time before dragging his tired body up again to continue working on new strategies to maintain the balance of power in their favor.

The First Order, with Snoke’s blessing, was moving quickly to secure the systems left most vulnerable after the destruction of the Republic. Without a nearby backup fleet, many prized worlds were left without adequate protection, and even those that could have mounted a successful defence were laid low by sheer terror of the First Order’s tactics, eager to sign treaties rather than undergo a similar fate. Even though Starkiller was gone, the knowledge that the Supreme Leader's military was willing to unleash such complete destruction brought dozens of governments to heel.

Snoke had informed Hux that he should defer the delivery of Kylo Ren until the general had the strategic systems under control. Hux found himself about to suggest that he send Ren to Snoke on a less vital ship, but never found the chance to offer the suggestion. Afterall, he told himself, it’s not like the Supreme Leader wouldn’t have suggested it himself if Ren had been urgently needed for training.

With all the planning, meetings, star charts, and constant orders Hux was responsible for as the commanding general of the fleet’s flagship, he had been too exhausted to dream more than a few dull echoes each night. At first the dreams had felt like an aftereffect of the connection with Kylo Ren. Hux would feel himself falling, sometimes waking with a start, and sometimes simply groaning and turning over in his extreme exhaustion.

But as the week continued and the general was able to get slightly longer periods of slumber, the nightmares began in earnest. At about two in the morning on the third day after the evacuation of Starkiller Base, Hux jolted awake covered in sweat and trembling. He was clutching his abdomen in sheer agony, crying out as the searing pain ripped through him. The sensation of plummeting ceased when he opened his eyes to the dark interior of his cabin, the universe slowly drifting by outside his observation window as the _Finalizer_ slipped through the void of space towards its next destination.

The following night was similar. The pain and fear ripped Hux out of his sleep. He was drenched in sweat and shaking from the violent pain and the sensation of falling. Only this time when he opened his eyes he still felt as though he were on fire and the cabin continued to spin around him. He scrabbled to gain purchase on something, bunching his hands around the flimsy material of the sheets in a vain effort to steady himself. The pain was brutal and he began retching miserably, unable to draw a clean breath.

He managed to pull himself to the side of the bed and drop his feet to the floor followed by his body when his legs failed to support him. He gasped at the cold impact and it cleared his head just enough to be able to choke out “Ren…”

Hux felt a small throb of response somewhere near. He didn’t know how to use this ability or listen to it. He hadn’t even tried since soothing Ren four days ago. But he sensed that this was the only way to end the agony. He reached out again, this time with only his mind.

 _Kylo Ren_.

This time the response felt stronger, more aware. There was a moment of panic thrust at Hux and then the pain and feeling of falling were snapped off. Hux drew in lungfuls of air in sheer relief as he lay on the frigid floor of his bedroom.

The following night Hux hesitated before getting into bed. He had been dreading it all day and had managed to put it off as long as possible. However, his exhaustion had at last caught up with him and the words on his data pad were running together in a jumbled mess.

Hux had stopped by the med bay earlier in the day to acquire a sleeping draught, but now he hesitated to use it. What if he had the dream, but was unable to reach out to Ren because he was sedated? Would he simply suffer in semi consciousness all night? Sighing, he set the vial of liquid neatly in his bathroom cabinet. Once Ren was off the ship, Hux decided he would take the whole draught and sleep a luxurious ten hour night.

To his surprise, Hux awoke the next morning at his usual time without having been plagued by one of Ren’s tangible nightmares. When he also slept well the next night, Hux began to think that maybe Ren wasn’t being troubled by the dreams anymore. Perhaps he had used the Force to cleanse himself of the painful memory. For a moment Hux was jealous of the possibility of ridding oneself of memories so easily. But then he remembered the intense agony coming from Ren, of which he had only been able to feel a small portion, and he was instead hopeful that Ren could forget that pain.

***

When he stood next to Ren in the audience chamber the following day, stealing a glance at the maskless knight, Hux realized why he hadn’t felt Ren’s nightmares. Kylo looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. He was completely, bloodlessly, white, save for the dark circles like bruises under his eyes and the healing gash across his face. He swayed a bit on his feet as he stood at attention in front of Snoke’s hologram. In spite of his obviously weakened state, Ren didn’t give off even the smallest flicker of Force energy towards Hux. He seemed to be sealed over completely in a hard shell. Hux snapped back to attention as the Supreme Leader addressed him.

“Fine work, general,” he said. “You have succeeded in carrying out a territorial expansion campaign in spite of losing your pet project to traitors and Resistance scum.” Hux said something suitable in reply to the rare, if somewhat snide, complement. Snoke, seemingly done with the general, turned his attention to Ren.

“You have succeeded in killing your father. Has it brought you the power of the dark? Is the hated light snuffed out like you’d hoped?” There was something in Snoke’s tone, a faint mockery, that made Hux look up in surprise and then quickly over at Kylo for his response. The knight stood there, frozen in place except for the slight tremor that gave away his exhaustion. His eyes drifted down from Snoke’s face and became fixated on the shifting hologram particles at his eye level.

“No,” he said softly. “Something is wrong.” His eyes flicked to Hux then back to Snoke. “Master, may I speak with you in private?”

Snoke looked amused by the request. “You may speak freely in front of the general,” he answered. Hux felt a bit of panic rising from Kylo as he began to lose control over his mental armor, and for a moment Hux could sense both his physical exhaustion and emotional distress.

“As you command, Master,” Ren replied. He drew a shaky breath. “Killing...Han Solo…” He stopped for a moment and shut his eyes tightly. It did no good though, Hux could see the image of Solo’s hand in Kylo’s mind reaching out to caress his son’s cheek in love and forgiveness before plummeting into the void. “It did not kill the light side of the Force within me.”

Snoke’s chuckle started deep in his throat before making it to his lips. It was the most hateful sound Hux had ever heard.

“Of course it didn’t, my young apprentice,” Snoke sneered. “It was never intended to.” Kylo’s head snapped up at that and his eyes went wide. “But now, you can have no more thoughts of returning to your family, my _sweet boy_ ,” the last words were uttered with bone crushing malice. Kylo was shaking in earnest now, and a wailing had begun in his mind, soft and low, deep inside him. Tears began slipping down his white face and neck.

“Why?” he breathed, a prayer. Snoke smiled, more gently this time, though it was no less menacing.

“You know you can never truly use your powers to their full potential until you stop being conflicted about your path. One door has been closed to you, one that I sensed you considering more and more often. Your act of patricide-” Ren gasped in pain at the word “-has ruled out the option of going back to your old life. You may feel the light, but you now belong to the dark side.”

 _Kylo is not going to lose the light_ , Hux thought, and a strange feeling of elation flooded through him. _Not going to lose that light, that warmth_...He looked over at Kylo and saw his face turned to him for a second, the dark eyes latched onto his in utter despair. _Snoke is a monster_ , Hux thought. _Ren is serving a madman. We all are._

Kylo remained standing for a few moments through shock and sheer will. But as the impact of Snoke’s betrayal, of his own betrayal, hit him with full force, he buckled and his knees hit the hard floor and his tall form doubled over. He was silent, but on the inside he was screaming, and Hux jumped from the sheer power of it inside his mind.

Snoke’s eyes snapped over to the general, considering him, as he looked in turn at each man. Hux’s eyes were wide and he was trembling as he stood looking uselessly down at Kylo, hands partially outstretched to him in alarm at the internal sound he was making. The man’s mind sounded like it was coming apart.

“Kylo Ren is ready to be returned to me for training,” Snoke said at last. “There is no need to divert the _Finalizer_ from its mission. He will fly to the coordinates that I will send to him shortly. He can use his personal shuttle for the journey.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux answered, wondering if Ren would even be capable of flying a craft after this brutal interview, and considering whether the ship could simply be automated to deliver him. Then there was the problem of getting him out of this room in the first place, as he lay broken on the floor, his arms encircling his head. Hux could feel the desire building in Kylo to do violence to himself, to smash his fits on the floor, his head, his face, until he was a bloody pulp. It was a need that was building every second and Kylo wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

“Oh, and General Hux,” Snoke said as if it were an afterthought. “When Ren comes for his training, I expect you to bring him, _personally_. Give orders to your officers to continue with the annexation campaign in your absence.”

The hologram snapped off before Hux could say anything in reply. By the time he was able to process what Snoke had just ordered him to do, Ren was choking under the strain of his sobs. He was curled up on his side and shaking in earnest, gasping wretchedly for breath. He was crying so hard that even his tears had stopped.

Hux had never been more terrified of Ren than at that moment. The pain pulsing off of him was enough to make Hux physically weak. He could still hear the internal screaming, though it no longer sounded lost. It was becoming more and more angry, a scream of rage that was directed mostly inward. Hux was aware that this could change in a split second if Kylo became aware of him. A charge of Force with that intense rage fueling it would be deadly. Hux suddenly realized why Snoke had convinced Kylo to betray his family, and had then told him to his face that it was never meant to take away the light within him. Hux thought it likely that Ren had never been in possession of more power than he had at that moment. The very molecules of the walls were starting to vibrate with the Force. The whole room was beginning to groan from it.

Without moving from where he was standing when the hologram had disengaged, Hux sent out one fragile strand of energy towards the convulsing wreck on the floor. If he failed to reach Ren, the knight would most certainly kill both of them in the explosion of energy that Hux could feel building inside the other man. Hux emptied his mind as best he could of his own jagged emotions, and imagined the cold gray smell of rain on concrete, the soft sting of the drops on his upturned face slowly fading as the pale sun broke through the low hanging clouds. He let Ren feel the one small joy that he once had as a child, finally seeing the sun for the first time in so long, the aching for that cool light.

As before, Hux felt Ren slowly begin to respond to the image. His body relaxed slightly. He managed to get some air into his lungs, though the sound of his breathing was still tortured. Hux needed to get closer. He wasn’t strong enough with this newfound ability to reach Kylo completely. He could still feel the fury rising in the other man, as the overwhelming violence burned within him.

Slowly, staying calm through his will alone, Hux inched toward Kylo as though he were sneaking up on a venomous snake. He removed his own gloves, dropping them as he crept forward. Still projecting the image of joy at pale sunlight, the smell of rain, the spreading warmth on his cold face, Hux knelt next to Kylo. Even more slowly, he reached out his hand until he was barely ghosting his fingers over Ren’s temple. The knight started at the gentle contact, and Hux did his best to keep up his projection of calm joy and not turn and sprint for the door like every fiber of his body was telling him to do. No, if this man lost control the results would be disastrous. Hux could still sense the coiling energy working at the atomic level in the fabric of the ship all around them. It would only take one uncontrolled pulse now and the Finalizer would be nothing but debris floating in space.

Hux paused for a moment before continuing the gesture, slowly letting his thumb smooth the skin at Kylo’s right temple before he brought his other hand up to hold the side of his face resting on the hard floor, picking his head up only enough to let it settle back into his hand. He stayed like that for a long time, ignoring the ache flaring in his back from the awkward position. He gently stroked Ren’s temples with his thumbs, the motion starting just above the dark eyebrows and finishing at the top of the sharp cheekbones, lifting his thumbs back to repeat the movement - over and over until Ren was at last calm enough to open his eyes.

The tears started again, but these were tears of loss and anguish, not the terrible building rage that had taken possession of him before. Kylo sobbed brokenly, pulling out of Hux’s hands and turning away from him. Hux could vaguely sense Ren’s shame at having him there helping him and seeing his weakness, though Hux sensed that other feeling as well, the one that felt like gratitude.

Hux stood up, ignoring the temptation to flex his back in relief, and walked over to the communications panel by the entrance. He pushed the button and spoke into the unit. Less than a second later an officer’s voice responded.

“Secure the corridor between the hologram chamber and Lord Ren’s quarters, and make sure it’s on lockdown for a full hour. No one is to pass that way except for myself and Lord Ren. Is that clear?”

“Yes, General Hux,” came the professionally neutral reply.

“You have ten minutes,” Hux replied. Switching off the unit, he headed back to Ren who was attempting to stand up and doing a poor job.

“Just relax for a moment,” Hux said, dropping down on the floor next to him and crossing his legs to show that he intended to do the same. “They are clearing the hall and then you can go back to your quarters.”

“I heard,” Ren answered. He had a hold on his projecting now and was not letting Hux sense his thoughts. Kylo gathered his long legs into more or less the same arrangement Hux was using and then rested his elbows on his knees, the long arms hanging out in front, fingers almost trailing along the floor. He had brushed the tears from his face, but his nose and eyes were still red from crying. Despite his tall frame he looked extremely young.

“I’m your age,” Kylo said.

“Oh,” Hux replied. Silence. “Do you always read people’s thoughts?”

“No. Usually it takes more effort, but you were practically screaming in my head.”

“Am I doing that now?”

“No,” Kylo said again. “You are being more guarded.” They stared tiredly at one another for a few moments.

“Did you hear that I am to take you to Snoke personally?” Hux asked, slightly nervous about bringing up the conversation that had sparked all of Kylo’s anguish, but the other man seemed too exhausted and cried-out to start it all up again.

“That was real?” He asked. “I thought I heard something about you taking me, but it didn’t make sense, so I thought I’d misheard.”

“Do you have any idea why?” Hux asked. Kylo shrugged.

“Probably doesn’t want me to kill myself or run,” he responded dispassionately.

“Then wouldn’t a troop of soldiers be a better idea?” Hux asked, rubbing his face wearily with his now cold bare hands. Kylo shrugged again.

“Not even the most skilled troopers on this ship can get inside my head,” he responded. They both pondered that for a moment, neither willing to discuss the reasons behind Hux’s strange ability to reach Ren.

“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?” Hux asked to change the subject.

“How could you tell?” Ren asked. A shadow of a smile played across his scarred face. “It can’t possibly be because I looked like hell, even before all this,” he added, gesturing to his red eyes and tearstained complexion. Hux gave a small laugh at that. They were quiet for another moment. It had been almost ten minutes, but Hux wanted to make sure the hallways were secure so Kylo could make it back to his quarters without being seen.

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” he asked. “Don’t tell me this is a new training program. Not even you could be so masochistic.” Hux met Ren’s eyes then and saw that they had gone dark. _Shit_ , he thought instinctively. _I’ve said something stupid and now I’m going to die_.

But Ren only shifted uncomfortably and looked around the room as though it were suddenly interesting.

“How about you?” Kylo asked instead of answering Hux’s question. “Have you been sleeping well, the last two nights anyway?”

“Yes-” Hux began, before stopping dead and looking straight at Kylo. Realization dawned. “You stayed up so that you wouldn’t project your nightmares? But why? What does it matter to you?” Kylo shrugged again. It was apparently one of his favorite ways of answering uncomfortable questions. Hux didn’t wait any longer for an actual answer. “Come on,” he said, “The corridor will be clear and you can get back to your quarters unseen.”

Hux resisted the urge to help Kylo to his feet, though by the time they had reached the door, Ren was projecting fatigue and a growing pain in his side. He was obviously struggling to walk normally and there was no way that he would make it all the way to his rooms without support.

“Here,” said Hux, taking Ren’s arm on his undamaged side and wrapping it over his neck and shoulders. “I had the hallway cleared for a reason.” Ren didn’t protest and just leaned his weight in relief on the general.

Their progress was slow, and Hux realized that he was leaning on Kylo nearly as much as the knight was being supported by him. Both men were worn out from the ordeal that they had shared, and Kylo was unconsciously sharing his pain with Hux. They eventually reached Ren’s quarters. He scanned his print and the security-strength door slid open. Hux helped him to a chair and Ren sank into it.

“I will send a medical droid to you with some pain medica-”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ren interrupted, his head already dropped into one gloved hand, his dark hair tumbling over his eyes. Hux paused at the door.

“Get some sleep, Kylo,” Hux said. Ren looked blankly at him. “I mean, you can hardly stay awake the entire journey to Snoke, anyhow, so doing it now doesn’t matter.” Ren’s expression didn’t change but he nodded slightly. Hux stepped out and the thick metal door slid closed.

Just then he realized his gloves were back in the audience chamber. Hux was halfway to retrieve them when he felt something tickling face. Raising a hand to brush the disturbance away, his cooling fingers touched tears. He came to a halt, staring at his damp fingers, suddenly realizing that his head was tight and his eyes burned as if he’d been crying alongside Kylo; that the two of them had been weeping as they gazed side-by-side at a fading memory of pale sunlight on a small boy’s face.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Hux finally crawled under the sheets that night he was so cold that he had stopped shivering and had simply succumbed to the numbness. Despite the wall heater glowing orange in the dark, he couldn’t keep any heat in his body.

Hux had always been cold, but until now he had never noticed. He just continued living out his father’s dream for him, taking on the older man’s ambition as though Hux were merely stepping into his father’s skin as the original wore out. Hux had never stopped to consider that there might be anything else besides the numbing cold of ambition, but now that he knew what it was to be warm, he was constantly reminded that he was not.

Earlier that evening, Hux had made sure they were prepared for the following day’s journey. Once he had left Ren’s quarters, he retrieved his gloves from the audience chamber, washed his tearstained face, then went to the bridge to get preparations underway. No one questioned the command from Snoke. They just nodded in acquiescence and fulfilled the general's orders to prepare Ren’s command shuttle and have the necessary supplies readied for departure. For once in his life, Hux found himself thinking that he maybe, just maybe, would like someone to ask him if it was such a good idea to follow Snoke’s orders.

Hux was anxious that he had not been able tell the crew exactly when he would be back on board the _Finalizer_. He told himself it would be a few days for the trip out, a few hours to drop Ren off, and then the same amount of days back. It helped him focus on the task at hand to have a plan, even if that plan would need to be significantly altered later on. He hoped it wouldn’t.

He gave orders for the _Finalizer_ to carry out his carefully planned strategy for domination during his absence, and then made his way back to his quarters for the last night he’d have in his own bed for the foreseeable future. The general didn’t have any particular attachment to his bed or his rooms, but they were familiar, and therefore the closest thing he had to a home.

The sheets finally warmed enough to allow him to drift into a shallow sleep. As his mind plunged deeper into unconsciousness, a flutter started in his head similar to the one in the corridors of the now vanished Starkiller Base. Hux stirred, his thoughts wandering to the surface. _Has it only been a week since I was on that frozen planet, in charge of all that power?_

He drifted back to sleep comforted by a buzz and hum in his head that crackled like soft static. It was a pleasant white noise that drowned out all thought. His mind drifted toward a warm center somewhere in his chest. Hux sighed in relief as his limbs finally began retaining their heat and the cold dispersed, replaced with a warm glow.

It was late when the shock of the nightmare hit him, exactly the same as before. Hux had two thoughts when he woke up doubled over in agony. He wanted to make the pain stop. He wanted to keep Ren asleep. Somewhere in the back of his throbbing mind Hux knew that his being concerned over Ren while the knight was burning him alive with his dreams was absolute lunacy.

The pain was just as excruciating as before, but it was no longer a surprise. Hux could barely think around the edges of the agony and vertigo. He lay on the bed, curled up on his side against the pain. Pulling a pillow over his head in a vain effort to shut out the projection, Hux searched for the source of pain in his body. With his mind he gingerly reached down to the center of agony in his abdomen, sensing a thin thread of Force energy trailing away from his body like a glowing wire. Hux followed it with his mind. He could vaguely make out the walls and corridors he mentally passed through before reaching Ren’s quarters.

Kylo was attached to the other end of the Force projection, curled up on himself in his sleep. Hux zoomed out mentally on the image in his mind until he could see both of them, himself and Kylo, each in their own bed, connected by a small glowing thread of energy. Hux watched for a moment, transfixed by the vision. He concentrated on moving closer to Kylo. It was then that he could hear the internal screaming, could feel the pain, so much more intense than his own.

Back in his own bed Hux gasped at the increased burning, the rage, the terrible regret. Steeling himself, Hux tried what he had done twice already. He sent an image of the calming, cold rain. He imagined it falling on the burning skin of his torso, quenching the flames. Hux focused on the pain slowly reducing, cooling, the skin becoming whole once more, the wound closing up and disappearing.

He thought it might not work from this distance. The last two times he had been able to physically touch Kylo. After a few minutes of projecting the images, the pain in Hux’s body and mind began to ease. He continued to soothe the knight until the pain was gone and Hux could sense Ren sleeping peacefully.

Later he would wonder how long it had been since Kylo had slept soundly and without dreams. For the moment, however, Hux was just grateful he’d been able to accomplish anything at all. He kept projecting a sense of coolness and sleep to Kylo until he too drifted on the tide of his own thoughts and off into a dreamless slumber.

***

The following morning they strode together down the long corridor to the shuttle bay. They walked the same way they always had, side-by-side, not touching, barely speaking. Though this time it was different. Hux was not sure if it was the proximity to Ren in his emotionally charged state, or his own fledgling sense - this new curse - slowly waking up and stretching its fragile wings, but Hux was more _aware_ than he had ever been in his life. As they passed officers and stormtroopers Hux could sense their emotions, regardless of whether they wore helmets.

He’d always been rather good at reading people. Afterall, while continuing his father’s vision for training the perfect soldier, Hux had studied psychology in depth. He had also learned how to read people for the sake of his own survival. Living with his father, being treated more like an experiment than a child, it came in handy to know what a tensed back or a sudden inhale meant.

The sensation he was feeling now was a step beyond reading faces and body language. It was nothing like Kylo Ren’s mind-reading ability, but felt like a thin lens of awareness that allowed him to see more clearly, as though it took the slightly blurred outline of outside emotions and brought them into focus.

His instinct was to deflect the new sensation, to rely solely on his training. He mistrusted the ease of the knowledge now streaming into his consciousness.

He read fear and uncertainty in the men and women around them, some of which was directed at himself, but the majority was focused on Ren. There was also hatred, envy, and wonder, but these emotions were always overwhelmed by a primal fear. There wasn’t any pity for the emotional devastation the knight had suffered. No one else knew about yesterday’s audience with Snoke. They only knew that General Hux had been ordered to personally deliver Lord Ren to the Supreme Leader.

Hux flicked his eyes over to Kylo, who had yet to replace the helmet he had lost on Starkiller. Ren was in terrible pain but trying to conceal it. He was consciously keeping his features neutral while he focused straight ahead, not meeting anyone’s eye. Hux could feel the wrenching doubt in his mind, along with the still raw emotions from the interview with Snoke. Yet, none of that showed on his face and no one but Hux picked it up. It made him uncomfortable.

At the ramp of the shuttle the two men turned briefly to look at each other. Both of them were projecting uncertainty behind their carefully composed faces. To the rest of the personnel in the bay the two seemed to simply be glancing coldly at one another. With an inaudible sigh Hux turned and walked up the ramp first, Ren following shortly afterwards.

***

Hux sat in the copilot seat of the command shuttle as Ren steered them clear of the _Finalizer_ and turned on the signal jamming equipment before punching in specifications for their flight pattern. His hands seemed steady but Hux picked up hesitation in the other man’s movements, almost as though those fingers longed to punch in a different set of coordinates and not the ones Snoke had given him.

“That’s in the middle of nowhere,” Hux said, gazing at the flight path that appeared on the screen in front of him. He looked over at Kylo who was watching him. Ren had an odd look on his face, and Hux felt a small stir of something under the surface, a flicker of concern that Ren was keeping hidden.

“I am under the impression that we will be met by Snoke’s command ship,” Kylo replied simply. He set the autopilot before he climbed out of the pilot’s chair and walked into the interior of the craft.

Part of Hux couldn’t believe they were actually doing this. While neither of them had ever disobeyed Snoke’s orders, this was a creature who had lied to Kylo and drove him to murder his own father. Snoke had mocked Ren and left him to be eaten alive by an act he could never take back.

 _I shouldn’t care_ , Hux thought. He curled his lip into a sneer as he leaned forward to take a closer look at the coordinates. With the flight plan Ren had set it would take approximately three and a half days to reach the rendezvous location. Kylo had not programmed the shuttle to travel at top speed. If he had, they could have been there in less than two days.

Hux was wondering why he was stuck in a shuttle in the middle of nowhere with an unstable Force user who might just turn their craft into so many atoms whirling in the darkness if the wrong mood struck him, when Kylo dropped back into the pilot seat. He tossed a small metal box at Hux, wires trailing out of it like spider’s legs.

“I took the precaution of removing the tracker you had placed on my ship,” Ren said. Hux sighed before dropping the destroyed tracker in the waste compartment. He didn’t care about the tracker, not really. It had been a long shot. He figured Kylo would have found it eventually. He was just surprised at how ruthlessly efficient Ren was at thwarting his plans

“Why aren’t we flying top speed?” Hux asked, indicating the flight program.

“Snoke gave me a very specific arrival time.”

“Well, why didn’t we stay on the _Finalizer_ until we actually needed to leave?” Hux asked, exasperated that he could have had almost a day and a half more to oversee the campaign.

“Snoke said we should leave today,” Kylo shrugged. Hux sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. They sat in silence a bit longer before Hux stood up and walked to the back of the shuttle. He suddenly felt he needed some distance from Ren.

***

The beginning of the trip wasn’t as bad as he had been expecting. At least while both men were awake.

When the first scheduled sleeping period rolled around, Hux had gone to his small cabin and prepared for bed. He had been fighting not show it in front of Kylo, but even with the regulation temperature being maintained on the command shuttle, Hux was frozen solid. He internally cursed himself for being so self indulgent over the past several days and leaving his heater unit on while he slept. That luxury was costing him dearly now.

The facilities were adequate for keeping the crew hygienic, but they didn’t allow for a long shower. He contented himself with running hot water into the small metal sink until it was nearly full and then immersing his cold hands until he could feel his fingers again.

He started to undress, but decided he would never be able to sleep if he let his meager warmth escape out into the chilly atmosphere of the shuttle. Instead, he pulled his gloves back on and bundled up in his greatcoat, turning up the collar over the bare skin of his neck. Grabbing the thin blanket off the cot, he wrapped himself up as best he could and lay down on his side, hunched around his belly and chest to preserve as much heat as possible.

He immediately began to shake. _I’m never going to sleep_ , he thought miserably. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried not to focus on the cold, tried not to think at all. Slowly, a small buzzing started behind his eyes, tiny at first, but gradually spreading through his entire brain. The electric current flowed down to his chest in a trickle of brightness and expanded from there.

Warmth. He stopped trembling and began to drift towards sleep. It was the warmest he’d felt since that night on Starkiller. He had never known that warmth could feel like this, could be such a  welcome relief. He was finally able to sleep, still entwined in the standard issue military blanket, his chest glowing with light.

Even though they had separate sleeping quarters, the close proximity meant that when Kylo began dreaming, his projections slammed into Hux with more impact than on the starship. It was no longer just the dream of burning and falling; Kylo projected any dream that had strong emotion attached to it. Still, the one of his father’s tortured last minutes was always the one that had both men writhing in pain.

The first night it happened on the shuttle, Hux followed the same plan that had worked back on the Star Destroyer, sending out a calming vision through their odd connection and soothing Ren back to sleep. It worked in even less time and both men were sleeping peacefully again after a few minutes.

Towards the end of the rest period, Ren projected a different dream. He was fighting the Jakku girl in the snow. His side was on fire from the bowcaster and he was thumping it into worse pain with his clenched fist. The sight alarmed Hux, and he found himself thinking back to legends of Sith healing themselves through pain. The sabers were a blur of frantic energy, Ren’s sparking and throwing bits of red light, while the girl’s was a steady blue flame.

“You need a teacher,” Ren was saying, staying his lightsaber over the girl’s head as she barely managed to hold him off. “Let me show you the ways the Force.” Hux could see the girl’s face from Ren’s perspective, suddenly calm as she closed her eyes. In the dream Hux could feel the energy gathering around the girl. Kylo’s was nearly spent. He was using most of his remaining strength to stay standing and to block out the image of Han Solo reaching out to his face…

They were fighting again and this time the girl was winning. Hux could feel Kylo’s desperation, his pain and awe, as she finally pushed him back into the snow, his saber extinguished, his face slashed. The ground shook and split. Then the girl was gone and instead Hux could see his own face in Kylo’s mind, kneeling over him looking terrified...desperate.

Hux shuddered at the vision of himself, the emotion so naked on his face. With difficulty he pulled himself back from the dream, reaching out to Ren.

_Wake up._

With a sudden pulse from the other mind, the connection was severed.

The next two nights were roughly the same. Hux got into bed so cold he could barely move, only to feel a spreading warmth right before he fell asleep. Then, several hours later, Kylo projected pain and Hux soothed them both back to sleep.

The general’s alarm over the situation was steadily increasing. While in just a few nights it had become easier to sooth Kylo, the nightmares were increasing in frequency. During the night before they reached their coordinates, Hux was being woken up every few hours. There were more and more nightmares featuring Ren’s master. Hux shut those down the quickest, terrified of what the knight might show him about the Leader they were on their way to meet, alone, in the middle of nowhere.

They still had not talked about the dreams. Hux could sense that Kylo was aware of what was happening, even though he seemed powerless to stop it. This couldn’t continue. Hux was exhausted. He had never been one of those people who could survive on interrupted sleep. He didn’t need a long rest period, but he needed a peaceful sleep cycle in order to function. Soon, he told himself, Ren would be gone and he could set the autopilot back to the _Finalizer_ and sleep the whole way.

***

They reached the coordinates at exactly the time specified by the Supreme Leader. They were in an unpopulated section of space, with no planets fit for human habitation nearby, not even a star close enough to provide any real light. Hux didn’t think he’d ever been stuck in a more desolate part of the galaxy.

They waited. There was no sign of a command ship. As the minutes, and then the hours, drifted by, Hux suggested that they transmit a signal to Snoke’s vessel.

“No,” Kylo said from where he was slumped in the pilot's chair. “He said no transmissions.”

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” Hux asked, glancing around at all the instruments for the tenth time in as many minutes, looking for any sign of an approaching vessel. Kylo just looked at him out of half closed eyes and didn’t answer.

Ren remained determined to keep radio silence even when they had been sitting at the meeting point for a full twenty hours with no communication from Snoke’s command ship. Hux had to fight a rising panic. He had been pulled away from his command post and sent on a fool’s errand with a maniac who insisted on waiting in this dark nothingness with no sign they were ever going to see another ship.

Hux began to entertain the very real possibility that this was Snoke’s way of getting rid of him. The Supreme Leader hadn’t seen him as vital to the First Order’s mission to subjugate the unstable elements of the sector. Instead he had sent him to babysit Kylo, and for what? Were they going to just sit out in the black airless void waiting to die?

Kylo glanced over at him.

Hux couldn’t stop thinking about the cold vacuum just outside the viewscreen. He struggled to block out the growing sensation that he was going to be set adrift in that frigid inky black, to float endlessly through the void, no light, no sun. His body perfectly preserved in the vacuum, locked in unchanging eternal death.

Kylo was looking at him in earnest now. Hux was trying to breath normally, but his fingers were curling up into claws over his knees, biting into the flesh. His eyes were widening, the terror in his face obvious. The general gave a shuddering breath as he felt Ren enter his head, seeing his panicked thoughts.

“He’ll come for us, Hux,” Kylo said. Hux looked up, surprised at the gentleness of his voice.

“I...I think I am going to take a sleeping draught,” Hux stuttered. “I...I hadn’t wanted to, but I‘ve been awake for so long now...I think it’s getting to my mind. If the command ship comes while I’m asleep, will you give me a shot of stimulant to wake me up? I’ll prep it and leave it on the table in my quarters.”

Ren nodded and Hux stumbled to the small cabin. He could tell he wasn’t thinking straight. All he wanted was to escape his conscious mind for a few hours, to not stare into that blackness and wonder if anyone was coming for them. He wanted to stop thinking about the growing possibility that he was going to lose his command. Possibly his life. Though if Snoke chose to strip him of his command, he’d just as soon not go on living with the shame of it.

Hux took out one of the sleeping draughts he had packed. After arranging the stimulant on the table as promised, Hux downed the potion in one shot. It tasted slightly minty and also of nothing. He fell into the bed fully dressed and pulled the blanket messily around him before plunging into unconsciousness.

***

Hux woke slowly. It took a long time for his mind to come crawling back out of the depths. He was in the dark. Not on the Star Destroyer, the sound was wrong. The command shuttle. Waiting for Snoke. He had taken a sleeping draught.

Groggily, Hux pulled himself out of bed and cleaned himself up in the small lavatory. He exchanged his crumpled uniform for a fresh one. Refreshed and feeling better than he had in days, Hux went in search of Kylo for an update.

He found him slumped down in a chair in the small common area, his long-fingered hands spread over his face. He didn’t seem to be asleep, and as Hux entered he dropped his hands, revealing bloodshot eyes.

“Any developments?” Hux asked. Kylo shook his head. “How long was I asleep?”

“Eighteen hours,” Kylo replied. Hux stared at him in disbelief. “I figured you needed it, so I didn't wake you.”

A strange suspicion crept over Hux. “Did you sleep at all, Kylo?” The other man sighed.

“I tried to stay awake, to monitor any incoming transmissions,” Ren said. “But a few hours ago I felt like I just had to give in for a couple of minutes. However,” he continued, rubbing his face the way Hux often did, “I couldn’t. I kept having the nightmare. And, you were...were knocked out by the sedative…” He didn’t finish, but  Hux knew what he left unsaid. Hux hadn’t been aware of the dream and hadn’t woken up in order to stop it and soothe Ren back to sleep.

The general’s first thought was relief that the sedative actually worked, that he wouldn’t need to be bothered by Ren’s hideous projections as long as he took the medicine before he slept. He looked into Ren’s red tortured eyes and inwardly cursed. The man hadn’t been able to sleep without his help in almost a week. How long would he last like this? And if Snoke ever did show up, which was looking less and less likely, how would Kylo be able to carry out his training in this condition? Hux let out a sigh of frustration and dropped into a chair across from Ren.

“Sleep, Ren,” he said. “I will monitor communications and...and make sure you sleep,” he added, not wanting to put too fine a point on whatever this codependency was that was developing - had developed - without either of them realizing it until it was too late.

Kylo closed his eyes and slumped down in the armchair without protest, utterly exhausted, resting his head on the padded back. Hux sent him a slow trickle of soothing energy, just enough to get the man to drop into a light sleep. Then he eased up and waited, letting Ren drift into dreams.

Hux was interested to discover if he could sense Ren’s projections while he was awake. He would soothe the knight if if the dreams got too violent, but now that he himself was alert, he was curious to see what the other man dreamed - especially as it seemed many of his dreams were actually memories of the recent past.

After several shifting images that were too indistinct to see clearly, Kylo began to cast the dream of the scavenger girl into Hux’s mind. He saw the fight again, heard the same words as before. This time when his own image came into Kylo’s vision Hux didn’t pull away, he simply experienced the event from Ren’s perspective.

Hux’s face was pale in the dream, his light eyes wide with panic, his red hair falling across his forehead, wet with sweat and snow. Hux could feel Kylo’s emotions in that moment - shock, relief, anxiety, embarrassment, pain - as well as another emotion that was harder to define. It felt like...like a sense of deep longing. A longing for something that Hux possessed and that Kylo lacked. A longing for order, calm, and coolness. Desire for the cold efficiency that surrounded Hux and that could extinguish the turmoil and burning pain.

The vision shifted and Hux was cupping Kylo’s face in his hands, sending the vision of rain for the first time, and the raging fire burning in Kylo began to dwindle. Slowly he was able to feel the calm coolness of the other man’s ordered mind...so soothing...the cool white hands on his face, pale eyes when they at last opened and looked into Kylo’s dark burning ones.

 _Stay_.

Kylo whispered it in the dream, echoed it from that past moment of peace felt in Hux’s cold hands.

Pulling himself out of Kylo’s dream world with an effort, Hux continued to send that same feeling of coolness until Ren was breathing heavily, no further visions crossing his mind.

***

“Why do you keep dreaming of her?” Hux asked as they shared a breakfast of stale rations. Kylo took another bite, considering his answer, avoiding Hux’s eyes.

They had just had another argument about transmitting a message. Kylo, of course, had won, though Hux didn’t think it was by fair means. Ren had encrypted all the control panels, and even though Hux had tried tampering with the override, he hadn’t made any headway. Kylo had caught him doing it, and though his new sense told him that Ren was pleased that he had shown the initiative, he had threatened to kill Hux with a Force chokehold. Things had calmed down before it reached that point, and they sat in their respective seats in the cockpit, staring out into the nothingness through the viewscreen.

“The girl from Jakku,” Hux prompted. “You dreamed of her again as you were falling asleep the last time. Did you really offer to train her?” Kylo set down the rest of his ration pack. Hux thought for a moment that all he would get for a response was one of Kylo’s shrugs.

“She was very strong with the Force,” Ren said at last. “I felt something the very first time I was on Jakku. Later, I realized that I was correct. I told Snoke that I wanted to train her. And, well, you saw me ask her and the response she gave me.” Kylo traced the scar on his face with his white fingers.

“I suppose,” he continued after a moment, “I suppose I wanted to train her, because…” He searched for the right words. “Because I wanted to do something noble. Something...redeeming.” This time he shrugged and then fell silent. Hux pondered Ren’s confession for a moment, seeing him in a new light. He was trying to create something, to build something powerful out of the raw materials he had to work with. The Jakku girl, the Force. Hux could understand that. It was how he had felt about the First Order, how he had felt toward the Starkiller operation.

Something else, Hux realized. Kylo had wanted an apprentice because he was lonely. Hux was alone too, but it was different for Ren. Once, he had been in possession of a loving family, of friends and comrades who didn’t fear him. Hux had never had those things, so they were harder for him to miss. But Ren was mourning them. Hux could sense the young child inside the knight crying over what Ren had done to his life. To his loved ones.

Hux was overwhelmed by a sudden thought. Kylo could sense the change in his energy and looked at him questioningly. Hux took a deep breath and fumbled to find the words that would change the trajectory of both their lives.

“Kylo,” He said. “What if-”

At that moment an enormous ship appeared in the void outside the shuttle. No alarms had sounded, no incoming message had alerted them. One moment there was nothing but empty space, and the next moment the command ship was there. Both men stared in awed silence for a few moments.

Hux realized that he had never laid eyes on the Leader’s command ship, and just how little he knew of the being that he served.

“That’s not what I thought it would look like,” Hux said.


	4. Chapter 4

Snoke sat like an icon in the middle of a long cathedral-shaped hall. Above them, the roof was open to the void of space through a series of large slanted windows that allowed starlight and darkness to trail down onto the skeletal figure seated upon the throne. Positioned on a dais, the Supreme Leader was still able to scowl down at his guests, leaning slightly forward in his pained way, the bony fingers gripping the blocky armrests. Snoke was tall. Even seated, Hux could tell he was taller than Kylo, though he must have been only a fraction of Ren’s weight.

Hux wished more than ever that he had been allowed to simply drop Kylo off, that he hadn’t been summoned to a personal interview alongside Snoke’s pupil. In the back of his mind, Hux had realized that Snoke would require him to appear before him, to hand Ren off in a sort of official capacity.

He’d hoped, vainly, that Snoke would realize how much more valuable the general’s time would have been back on the _Finalizer_ , and simply let him get on with the business of running his campaign without further delay. When Hux had seen the orders flash up on the shuttle’s display as they landed in the ship’s massive docking bay, he hadn’t been surprised. He pressed his lips together while letting a long breath out of his nose. It was his only comment.

The docking bay was mostly empty. One other ship of note stood in the shadows, hooked up to support lines. It looked like the ship of a dignitary rather than a military craft. There weren’t any troops or officers, not even a crew of maintenance droids. The command base was also oddly silent, the engines barely making a sound. Their rumble was just perceptible to Hux as a tiny stuttering in the corner of his mind, very different to the feeling - he assumed it was the Force - that lulled him to sleep at night. No, this was an unhealthy, irritating sound, like the buzz of a deadly insect humming deep in his ear.

Kylo seemed to know his way, whether because he had been on the base before or because he could sense Snoke’s presence, Hux wasn’t sure. They walked through wide corridors that reminded Hux more of Starkiller Base than a command ship, although the walls felt more vault-like, solid and stoney, like nothing that should have been able to travel through space so gracefully.

The general still had not gotten over the ship’s sudden appearance as they had sat in the cockpit of the shuttle. The ship reminded him a little bit of Ren, Hux thought, stealing a glance at the tense knight as he prowled forward through the maze of passages. Ren was somewhat of a hulk, like this ship, but he was also deadly and quick. He seemed to stomp around and be everywhere at once, yet he could stealthily approach from behind, and you wouldn’t have any idea he was there until you felt his breath on the back of your neck. Hux gave an involuntary shiver. Ren looked at him briefly as they walked towards Snoke’s large audience chamber.

Hux was stunned by the left side of Snoke’s face. The deformity had not been clear in the hologram, and he wondered if Snoke purposefully manipulated the image in order to hide his mismatched visage. Hux had never thought him lovely, but he found the complete face in its real dimensions to be at once terrifying and comic. There was something else. A growing sense of unease Hux felt the longer he looked at the creature before them. It was as though the face was only half-formed, was still being solidified. There was a feeling of decay about him, but also the impression of something being born, fetus-like and raw. He repressed a shudder.

“Lord Ren. General Hux. Welcome,” Snoke said when they had taken their places before him, mimicking the stance they usually took before his hologram. Shoulder to shoulder, faces looking up. Hux thought he saw something in Snoke’s eyes as he gazed down at them, studying each in turn. Amusement? Yes, but there was more than that. _Hunger_ , Hux realized. His skin crawled.

“I appreciate you waiting so patiently while I was unavoidably delayed with an important matter,” Snoke continued. It was the closest thing to an apology they would get for sitting in the void, waiting for days with no word from the Leader. All three of them knew it was no accident, but none of them said the words out loud.

“Given the circumstances,” Snoke continued, “it seems you faired rather well. I know neither of you is overly fond of waiting. You were wise to enforce my order not to send a transmission, Lord Ren. If you had, your shuttle would have been atomized by a device I instructed to be placed on your craft before your departure from the _Finalizer_.”

Hux’s eyes widened in shock. There was no way to tell if Snoke was telling the truth about the device. His glance flicked to Ren, but the knight calmly stared up at Snoke and no hint of concern or surprise showed on his pale face. _My god_ , Hux thought, _was this normal for him?_ He now realized how Snoke maintained such complete control over a being as powerful as Ren. Mind games. Manipulation. The threat, real or not, that he would die if he disobeyed the smallest command.

The general was aware, then, of a very traitorous thought. He tried to shift his mind to something else, to block the images, but the effort was too much. He had already realized a very dangerous fact, simply by being in the same room as master and student. Even with his small Force sensitivity - _curse_ , he reminded himself - Hux could sense one thing very clearly: Ren was stronger than Snoke. Much stronger.

It was terrifying and laughable, just like Snoke’s ugly face. Yet Snoke maintained control over his disciple, a control that Hux had witnessed countless times, a control he was seeing now. It was as though Snoke had convinced Ren he had placed a collar around his neck and was holding the other end of the leash, that he had to obey or Snoke would jerk that restraint and bring Kylo to his knees. It worked simply because Kylo believed the leash was there.

Hux knew his thoughts were extremely dangerous, that Snoke was likely sensing them. His eyes slipped up to the dias, to that horrific head, and he saw Snoke looking directly at him, smirking. It was then Hux understood. Snoke was allowing him to see the truth of the situation. He wanted Hux to know. Fear, cold and brutal, knifed through Hux’s gut at the discovery. His knees were going weak out of fear. Snoke was an insane monster and Kylo served him absolutely. Hux realized he was not going back to the _Finalizer_. He would never be leaving this floating citadel.

“General,” Snoke leaned forward slightly and Hux felt his heart leap with adrenalin. “Your report on the current campaign.”

 _What?_ Hux thought. This was ludicrous. He had been away from his post for nearly a week with no messages sent to him updating him on their status. Hux had briefed Snoke on all developments as they occurred and had left his second in command to fill that capacity and report to Snoke after he left. If anything, Snoke should be updating Hux.

He was sensing the menace of the room, of the _thing_ on the throne, the hunger growing and gnawing at both men. _What does that hunger seek?_ Hux was desperate to know, but he also realized deep in his bowels that this particular hunger of Snoke’s could never be satisfied, that both Kylo and Hux would fall into that greedy maw and still the creature would be starving.

The danger was palpable. It beat in Hux’s eyes and throat. Every nerve ending tingled, screamed at him to run. Hux was incredulous that Kylo seemed oblivious to the disaster looming right above their heads. Was this truly how he had expected this meeting to go? Was Hux the only one feeling this growing panic at the Supreme Leader’s clear depravity?

Snoke had asked him a question. Hux fought to recall it, to put his words in order and answer coherently. In the most normal voice he could manage, he told the creature on the dias of the campaign’s status when he left the _Finalizer_ and the outline of the plan his crew was to follow during his absence. Kylo must have sensed the oddness of Hux’s manner as he glanced at him, but he didn’t appear to be reading his mind, just skimming the surface and wondering why the general was showing signs of anxiety.

“Very good,” Snoke said when Hux had finished the report. “Lord Ren, you will remain here with me until we have reached the next phase in your training. General Hux,” Snoke’s twisted face turned to him, a small malice winking at him out of his cold eyes. “You will return to the _Finalizer_ and continue your mission.” Hux remained as still as stone. He could sense that there was more. Snoke wasn’t finished with him.

“Unless,” Snoke continued, drawing out the word slowly, hissing it, “you would accept a temporary reassignment.” Hux waited, not breathing. “I think it would be beneficial for Lord Ren to have a training assistant. I was going to assign one of the Knights of Ren, but they are all currently occupied by other assignments. I therefore feel that the best alternative is to have a loyal servant  of the First Order assist him in his endeavors to grow stronger in the Force. Would you be agreeable to such an assignment, General?”

Kylo looked at Hux, disbelief clear on his face. The first hint of fear was growing there and Hux could see his own anxiety mirrored in those dark eyes.

“Of course, if this proves to be inconvenient for you, General Hux, then I will look for a replacement assistant for Lord Ren and you are free to return to your post, effective immediately.”

Hux realized that this playacting was all for Kylo’s benefit. He would die the moment he was out of Kylo’s sight. He remembered his panic attack on the ship, his terrible fear of being set adrift in the void. _Snoke knew_ , he thought suddenly, eyes snapping up to the ghoul. He would make sure Hux suffered. Maybe he would be instructed to put on a suit with a supply of air, then cast adrift in the dark void, too far from the stars for any real light. Floating out there in the frozen blackness. Taking days to die. His blood turning to ice. His body preserved in perfect frozen death. Abandoned to the dark.

_No._

“I would be honored to assist Lord Ren with his training, Supreme Leader,” he responded.

***

Hux paced back and forth outside the the audience chamber, waiting for Ren to be done with his private meeting with Snoke. He had been dismissed after agreeing to his ‘reassignment,’ and was now impatiently waiting for the knight. Kylo finally emerged and guided Hux through the deserted hallways.

Hux wanted to ask him what he saw when he looked at Snoke, what he really thought of his master. Of course, he knew it was utter lunacy to discuss the Leader now, here, on his own command ship. He wondered what surveillance equipment Snoke used. Did he even need it? Was there any hope he could communicate with Ren without Snoke overhearing?

“Have you been here before?” he asked instead. “You seem to know your way around.” Kylo shrugged.

“Not this particular ship,” Kylo responded. They stopped in front of a security door.

“Snoke has designated these as your quarters,” Ren said, and turned to leave.

“Wait,” Hux called after him. Ren stopped, turning his head to look over his shoulder at the general. “Where are your quarters?”

“I haven’t been assigned any.”

“What? Why not?” Hux was confused. This was not standard operation. “Are you leaving for another assignment?” The possibility of being left alone with Snoke knocked the breath out of him momentarily.

“Not to my knowledge,” Kylo responded, still turned away from Hux, face over his shoulder, but eyes directed at the floor.

 _Something is wrong, and he isn’t telling me,_ Hux thought, his panic rising. Kylo must have sensed it. His eyes met Hux’s for a second before dropping back down.

“I will bring you your belongings from the shuttle,” he said. Hux instantly remembered the sleeping draughts. A desire for the drug’s oblivion hit him so hard he trembled from it. The desire for the dreamless peace of last night shocked him. Ren was gone before he could recover.

Hux turned back to what he had assumed was a security door. After inspecting it, however, he realized there were no controls of any kind. It didn’t have a keypad, or a place for him to press his palm print, or a retinal scanner. The door also lacked any type of handle or latch. It was just a smooth sheet of metal.

He took a step closer to the door, intending to search the surface with his fingers to see if he had somehow missed a concealed panel. The door opened, sliding vertically up into the ceiling with a slight metallic hiss, instantly vanishing into its hidden bay above. Hux jumped, then looked into the room from the corridor. It was a modest apartment furnished with a bed, table and chairs, a wardrobe, and little else. Hux could see a door leading into a bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. The room was gray and metallic.

When Ren returned with his bag, Hux was still standing in the corridor. Kylo gave him a puzzled look.

“Is something wrong?” Ren asked.

 _Where to begin_ , Hux thought.

“No,” he said. The two men looked at each other. So many questions flooded into Hux’s brain, closely followed by observations of his own that he needed to share with Ren, including the certainty that neither of them was ever leaving this place. Some of the horror of Snoke’s presence had worn off, but Hux knew he had glimpsed the real mind that resided on that throne. He also knew he was not intended to walk away from this. Maybe he could find a way, in spite of Snoke. He would not simply submit to death.

“Can you read my mind?” Hux asked. He needed to know if they could communicate privately, even if it was one-sided. Kylo shifted uncomfortably as he handed Hux his bag.

“I-” Ren began, “I...he asked me not to while we are here.” His dark eyes flashed up to Hux, then away. “He says it is part of my training. That I am not to use the Force until he asks me to.”

All hope began to drain out of Hux. There was no way to warn the fleet about what the Supreme Leader really was. The First Order would go on taking direction from Snoke until the creature devoured them. Until he devoured the galaxy.

Kylo, though not reading his mind, seemed to at least guess by his face that Hux was on the brink. “You need to rest, general,” he said. “Why haven’t you entered your quarters?”

“No door handle,” Hux replied. Kylo’s eyebrow raised a fraction.

“It’s automatic,” Kylo said. “It will open if you approach it.”

“No lock,” Hux said next. The corner of Ren’s mouth twitched in a brief smirk.

“It will only open for you and me.”

“Who says you’re not the one I want locked out? And I thought you’d never been on this ship before. How do you know so much about the blasted doors?”

“I’ve seen them before,” Kylo answered. The small smile that had been in his eyes darkened. “Get some rest,” he said, turning away.

“What about training? What’s our schedule?” Hux asked. Kylo gave one of his shrugs.

“I haven’t been told yet. I will come fetch you when I have been informed,” Ren said. _Strange_ , Hux thought, _that he’s instinctively not saying Snoke’s name_. Kylo started to walk away.

“Wait,” Hux said again. Kylo spun full around, a sigh of frustration escaping him. “Where are you going to sleep if you haven’t been assigned any quarters?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Hux huffed. “It strikes me as strange, that’s all. I have never assisted in training a Force user before. I have no idea whether I’m supposed to insist that you get rest or make sure you stay sleep deprived.” Kylo gave him a strange look. Hux rubbed his gloved hands over his face in exasperation. “I have no idea what to do in this situation. I thought I’d be back on the _Finalizer_ by now.”

Hux had not meant to admit his ignorance so plainly, but under the circumstances, he thought it wiser to let Ren know he was out of his depth. Ren would have realized that anyway, Hux thought.

He was getting tired. He remembered the sleeping draughts that rested in the bag he had set just inside the door. He wanted nothing but the sweet oblivion they would bring. Hux realized he had no idea what time it was or how long he’d been there. He would check his data pad once he was in the room, reorient himself. He would try and come up with a plan.

“I will fetch you when I am ordered to,” Kylo said and was gone.

Hux hesitated for another full minute before going into the room. He picked up the bag and set it on the foot of the bed. The automatic door slid closed as soon as he was clear. His instinct was to see if it re-opened. Or if he was entombed. _Stop being dramatic_ , he told himself.

Rooting through the bag, Hux pulled out some of the meager clothing he’d brought, having never intended to stay for...well, for however long Snoke let him live. He found his bag of toiletries and set them in the bathroom. He went back to the bag, lifted the last of his clothing out in growing alarm. He double checked each crease of his clothing and every corner of the bag before he let himself believe it. The data pad was gone. And so were the sleeping draughts. He sat down heavily on the bed next to his small pile of clothing. He wasn’t sure what was worse, not being able to track the time or not having a release from this waking nightmare.

No. He did know what the worst part was: Snoke knew everything about him, all his weakness, all his fears; and he was in control of the one person who could actually save him, and that person had no idea, and Hux couldn’t tell him.

He considered roaming the corridors, looking for Ren, demanding the data pad and the draughts back. He considered backtracking to the shuttle bay to see if Ren had left the items on the bed when he was packing. Hux knew that they would not be there. It was more likely that they had been destroyed, hurled against the wall, smashed to pieces with the Force. Or maybe Ren had simply tossed them in an incinerator as he walked by, absentmindedly destroying the general’s peace of mind. Just another command from Snoke.

Hux couldn’t bring himself to go near the door. He did not want his fear confirmed that it might not open. Instead he busied himself putting away his clothing, folding and refolding until every crease was perfect and the garments were lined up in strict order in the closet.

After he finished with his clothes, he walked into the bathroom and heated the water as hot as it would get - which was only lukewarm - and set out his razor and shaving cream. He set to work on the red stubble. Washing his face carefully afterwards, he studied himself in the square mirror above the sink. He had cut himself on the jaw, just one tiny knick blooming red on his pale skin. He watched the drop gather weight slowly, until it could no longer keep its shape, giving in to its own swelling richness and dripping slowly down his neck.

Pulling himself out of his trance with an effort, he wiped the blood away. Then he went back and sat on the bed, facing away from the silent door.

***

Hux had no way of knowing how long he had been alone in the room when the door slid open. He was sitting at the head of the bed, back against the wall, half of the clothing he’d folded so carefully earlier layered on his trembling body. He was wrapped in the thin blanket and sheets, his greatcoat pulled over his shoulders, his gloves on. It seemed his hat had gone missing. He couldn’t remember if he’d even brought it with him, though it was technically a part of his uniform so he shouldn’t have left it behind. It was bothering him for some reason. He kept running his gloved fingers through his hair, not caring that he was disheveling the red strands out of their perfect shape.

When Kylo came into the room, Hux simply raised his head from his hands and looked at him. Ren stopped halfway to the bed as if he had run into a wall and stared at Hux, his intense eyes sweeping over his huddled form. Hux was reminded of the very first time he’d seen Kylo’s face, his tortured stance, the light, his intense prayer in the dark. They remained staring at one another for a moment, neither thinking of anything to say. At last Hux cleared his. throat.

“Training?” he asked.

“I haven't received any orders yet,” Ren responded.

“Oh. How long have we been here?”

“Not sure. Awhile,” Kylo said. Silence.

“Have you slept at all, Ren?”

“No.”

“Me either.” Silence. “You really don’t have a room?”

“No.”

“Why?” Hux asked, not really expecting an answer. Kylo looked irritated. He started pacing. “Wouldn’t your master require you to sleep, or is it the same as using the Force; that you have to wait for his permission?” Kylo looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“No, nothing like that,” he answered, not meeting Hux’s eyes.

“Then _why_ ,” Hux asked, growing impatient. Kylo stopped his pacing as far away from Hux as the small room allowed.

“Actually,” he hesitated, dropping his eyes to the floor, then directing them to the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but at Hux. “We were both assigned to these quarters.” Kylo looked more embarrassed than Hux had thought was possible. Hux felt his own mouth drop open a fraction.

“Oh,” Hux replied. They both stared anywhere but at each other for several long awkward heartbeats. “Can you open another room?”

“That wouldn’t be wise.”

“No, true. You’re right. Well, one of us can sleep on the shuttle.”

“Not allowed,” Kylo said.

“Could we at least go back for the other two blankets?”

Kylo shook his head. Hux sighed and rubbed his face. He was doing that more recently. Probably because he had been constantly cold and exhausted since the battle on Starkiller Base.

“Well, do you need to sleep?” Hux asked, not able to stand the knight’s silence any longer.

Hux reassessed the bed. They would both just fit without touching shoulders. He closed his eyes at the thought. No, it would be better if he left while Kylo slept. But if they reversed their sleeping schedules, would they still be able to train efficiently?

Hux had not been idle in his thoughts while he had been huddled up alone on the bed. He had poured through all the options available to him, making a plan for his own survival as dispassionately has he had done for the campaign to expand First Order territory. Hux had come to the conclusion that his best chance for survival lay in showing himself useful, but not essential, to Kylo’s training. It was a fine line. If Snoke felt Kylo was relying more on Hux than on himself, he would likely become jealous and punish Hux. If he proved useless, well, then he would simply be disposed of.

With the added twist of the shared quarters, Hux would need to re-examine Snoke’s motives and methods. This was a dangerous game. Hux needed to know what Snoke’s end goal was. Possibly, Kylo’s unquestioning devotion. But he had that already.

Hux wondered why Snoke kept pushing Ren to such extremes. He had taken a lot of care over him, grooming him as a disciple since he was a child. Yet Kylo remained unpolished. Extremely strong, but fragile too. It was almost as if Snoke was intentionally making him unstable. Why else would he have insisted Ren murder his own father? What had that accomplished? Hux shuddered at the obvious answer. Snoke was cutting Ren off from anyone who loved him, anyone Kylo loved in return. Soon there would be no one but Snoke, the one star in Ren’s universe.

Hux moved over to the far side of the bed, too tired and frozen to think about it any more. Reluctantly, He unwrapped himself from the blanket and held it out to Kylo. Ren hesitantly approached and took it from him.

“I can just sleep on the floor-”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Hux said, leaning his tousled head back on the wall and closing his eyes, pretending to ignore Ren. He watched the knight from under his eyelashes as Kylo visibly sized up the situation. Sighing in exasperation, Ren pulled the thin gray blanket around his shoulders and sat on the bed. After pausing to remove his boots, he swung his long legs up on the mattress. Copying Hux, Kylo sat against the wall at the top of the bed, his head leaning back against the wall, eyes closed.

 _Well, this is just great,_ Hux thought bitterly. He had spent hours trying to come up with a way to talk to Ren about Snoke, convince him that he was insane. Now that he had the perfect opportunity, he had no idea how to go about it. He took a deep breath.

“Kylo,” he began, “I need to ask you about Sno-”

“I am commanded to report everything you say about him,” Ren said, not moving from where he rested his head but opening his eyes to look at Hux. “So please. For your sake, just don’t talk about him, alright?” Hux pulled a little away from the wall and watched Kylo.

“Does it count if you read my mind?”

“I’m not allowed. I told you.” He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “I’m serious Hux. I have to tell him everything. Just shut up and go to sleep, ok?” Hux felt equal amounts of fear and frustration.

“Ok,” he said lamely, leaning back with more force than was necessary, smacking the back of his head on the wall. With an intense effort he kept back the curse words that leapt to his tongue. Kylo looked at him, one eyebrow raised. Hux felt overwhelmed by the ridiculousness of the situation, overwhelmed by the cold and the fear, the need to sleep. He stood up, pulling the jacket tightly around him, and walked over to one of the two chairs in the room. He sat down facing Kylo.

“You sleep first. Then I’ll sleep,” Hux said, trying to sound authoritative. Kylo grunted and slid down onto the mattress, his back to Hux and his long feet hanging over the end of the bed.

Hux was freezing. He regretted giving the blanket to Kylo. He tried to get a grip on himself and not let his teeth chatter. This was ridiculous. This whole situation. Hux had gone from being in charge of history’s most deadly superweapon, general of the First Order, to what? A prisoner and Kylo Ren’s bunkmate? A Force assistant? He snorted to himself as that. _Father would be so proud_ , he scoffed.

He tried to keep his eyes open, his head up - but the dim light of the room, the gray walls, Kylo’s deepening breaths - were all lulling him to sleep. He rested his elbows on the table, and soon he was craddling his head on his arms, the table’s edge pushing into his chest, shaking from the cold. He drifted uncomfortably towards sleep, only half aware that he was not already floating through the void, not already freezing solid in the vacuum of space. The slender tether of Kylo’s soft breathing was all that kept him from circling out into the vast loneliness and unending darkness of the mad universe.


	5. Chapter 5

The warmth never came. That nurturing hum had abandoned him. Hux shivered in a restless half-sleep. He twisted his head in his arms, miserably seeking comfort. Turning his face towards the cold metal table beneath his elbows, he could feel his warm breath pooling in that private space. A small gift. He relaxed a fraction, his mind and body desperately seeking sleep.

He could sense the other man’s mind as it began to flood with images. Hux tried blocking it out, rooting around in own his mind, attempting to find a shield against Kylo’s dreams. He thought of the smooth door to their quarters, imagined it holding fast against Kylo’s mind, the gray metal reflecting the images away from him, refracting them around the room. So gray, this whole place, caught between the dark and the light, the sun and the void.

Kylo moaned in his sleep. Hux shut his eyes tight. He could feel the smooth skin around his eyes crease with the effort.

_Stay out of my head, Ren._

Kylo turned over in his sleep. Hux could hear the drag of the blanket over the mattress. He could sense Ren’s weight shift in the dim light. He didn’t raise his head to look. Hux felt certain that if he saw that long form fumbling in agony on the bed he would be lost. Instead, he covered his ears with his hands and kept his eyes screwed tight, kept the mental door held up between them.

The energy he was expending to block Ren was draining him of warmth, driving in the cold, his breath no longer comforting as it bounced off the table to catch at his eyelashes. It had become frozen like the rest of him. Each soft blast from his mouth sending the chill deeper into his chest.

Hux felt an impact against the barrier in his mind. He jumped holding his ears tighter, and squeezed his eyes until they throbbed. Another impact, as though Ren were physically hurling himself against the door in Hux’s mind.

_Stay out. Stay out. Stay out._

The barrier was shuddering. A small gap appeared along the base of the smooth door. It was being pried open from the other side. That’s when Hux realized his mistake. Ren had told him that the door only opened for Hux...and for himself. Hux had chosen a mental projection with a fatal flaw; fatal because the physical object he had chosen was not a barrier to the real Kylo. As soon as Hux acknowledged his mistake the door was gone, disintegrating back into the phantom realm, and Kylo was there.

Hux cried out at the raw assault of Ren’s thoughts. His hands no longer grasped his ears, but instead clawed into his own hair, the sides of his head, barely registering that he needed to stay away from his sensitive eyes. His nails raked over his temples.

_Get out! Get out of my head!_

Ren didn’t respond. The images that been had been bottled up in the knight’s mind, repressed during the past several days, boiled over and scalded both of their minds, setting Hux screaming uncontrollably. He fell from the chair onto the floor, writhing. Burning.

His own nightmares flooded to the surface, pulled there by Ren’s all-consuming mind; the void, the dark, eternal cold, his father’ face…

_No!_

They froze and burned in a vicious cycle, each man’s dreams struggling for dominance. First  Kylo’s father, burning; then Hux’s soft whimpering in the rain, his father’s back turned to him, rejection, so cold…

 _Ren_ ... Hux called out through the Force, the projection sounding broken, lost. _Please_ …

Hux managed to crawl across the smooth floor, collapsing whenever an image hit him, pulling him under in a tide of pain and loss, only for him to move feebly forward again. Never had Hux struggled so hard to move across such small a space. He was blind and deaf to everything but the cycling nightmares, using only the glowing thread between himself and Ren as a guide.

At last, he sensed he was close. He reached out his fingers from where he lay collapsed on the floor. He felt the side of the bare mattress, moved his hand up to where he could just rest his hand on the surface of the bed.

 _Ren_ , he called with his mind, gasping when a wave of burning pain hit him, followed closely by a tide of ice.

_Kylo Ren. I’m here._

There was a stir in his mind, a clear space opening up for a moment amidst the anguish. Hux could feel the mattress shift under his hand and then long fingers took his, grabbing them fiercely. Hux winced and took a shuddering breath. With all his concentration, he sent out a lifeline of peace. It was more like the memory of sending it to Kylo before, as Hux could not seem to locate the true calmness in himself; not with Kylo’s mind raging inside his own, turning his own memories and emotions against him. But it was enough.

Slowly, Kylo began to relax and the projections became muted, less frantic. With the onslaught lessened, Hux was able to find memories of order and tranquility, of rain and the scent of gray air. Droplets on his face, his eyelashes, his lips. Drops trailing down his his neck, running cool over his chest, the small of his back.

Ren sighed and stirred, his strong fingers no longer crushing Hux’s hand as it lay in his grasp. Both men floated in the tranquility that was left after the violence of their shared dreams, neither truly asleep. Hux could feel Ren’s consciousness floating slowly towards the surface. After several minutes of drifting, Hux tried to withdraw his hand. Kylo grasped it tighter.

“You’re so cold,” Ren whispered. Hux nodded and Kylo seemed to sense it. “I- I’m sorry,” Ren continued, gently releasing his grip and letting Hux’s hand fall back down to his chest. Hux held his palm to his face for a moment, relishing the warmth that had gathered there from Ren’s grip, trying to make it spread into his cold body. It dissipated quickly. He began shivering again, lying on his back on the hard floor.

“I’m not allowed to...to help,” Kylo said from the bed above, his voice full of regret.

“I know. It’s ok.” His own voice sounded small in his ears. He hated the way his teeth chattered with cold as he spoke. He heard Kylo moving, felt the bed shift next him before it went still. He opened his eyes a fraction and saw Kylo sitting in the chair he had abandoned, putting on his boots.

“Get in the bed under the blanket, Hux. I’m going to let you sleep first.” He finished with his boots and stood up, looking down at Hux. “Do you need help?”

“No,” he said, wincing at the way his teeth clicked. With an effort he pulled himself to his feet. Seeing that he could accomplish at least that much on his own, Kylo turned to the door and was gone.

Hux looked at the bed. Not wasting any more time, he stripped off his outer layers and crawled carefully into the exact spot Ren had occupied just moments before. The mattress and blanket still retained Kylo’s dazzling heat. Hux pulled the blanket over his head, trapping all he could of Kylo’s lingering warmth. Sighing in grateful relief, he plunged into dreamless sleep.

***

“What have you been doing?” Hux asked when Kylo finally returned. He was just opening one of the ration packs, ready to get through the process of chewing and swallowing the stuff, when Ren walked through the door.

Ren didn’t answer his question right away, pacing the room for a moment instead. He looked at Hux then, as though just realizing he had asked a question.

“Exploring the ship,” he responded. Hux tossed him a ration pack and then filled a cup of water from the sink in the bathroom. There was only one cup, and he set it down on the table between them, Ren finally settling into a chair.

“Have you found the crew?”

“The ship is mostly automated. However, there are a few...people...stationed on the bridge,” Kylo responded.

“People?”

“I think they’re mostly machine...they don’t have any real presence of life. But they aren’t droids.”

Hux pondered this information in silence for a moment, absently chewing and taking a sip of water. He suddenly realized Kylo was staring at him.

“Your face-” Ren said, leaning forward and examining him with searching eyes. “Did you do that to yourself?” Hux sighed, gently fingering the scratches on either side of his face, his temples, his ears.

“Not intentionally,” he answered. “I was just, um, a little overwhelmed by your projections.” He took another sip of water, trying to keep his hand steady. He didn’t want to talk about this.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo said, so quietly Hux barely heard him. Hux shrugged. They sat there in a silence that was both awkward and companionable.

“Are you sure we can’t go back to the shuttle for the extra blankets?” Hux asked. Ren stared at him for a moment, suspicion clear on his face.

“You can’t steal the shuttle, Hux.”

 _Damn it, Ren_ , Hux thought bitterly.

“I would never dream of it,” he responded out loud, his tone icy. “But since you mention it, what would prevent me from, say, changing my mind and heading back to the _Finalizer_? I mean, I don’t seem to be doing you any good as an assistant.”

Kylo sat across from him hunched in on himself, his energy coiled and dangerous. His eyes were dark with anger...and shame.

“I destroyed the shuttle, Hux.” Silence. The general fought to remain calm. Static threatened at the corners of his vision. Time stood still for exactly three heartbeats, then stuttered forward again.

“An order from Snoke?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” His mind raced. “And the other ship? The one we passed in the shuttle bay?”

“Already departed,” Kylo answered, seemingly telling the truth, though Hux could not be sure.

“Who did it belong to?” A shrug from the knight.

“Snoke mentioned having several physicians on board to discuss...strategy,” Kylo said vaguely.

“But they’re gone now?” Kylo nodded, watching Hux carefully. The general needed to think it through, to add this new information to his plan for staying alive. Though he had to admit, the options with which to accomplish that task were steadily dwindling.  

***

Kylo never mentioned whether or not he met with Snoke again after that first encounter. Hux wondered if they even needed to meet face to face, or if they were constantly available to one another through the Force. He eyed Kylo where the knight sat cross legged on the floor, meditating. The two could be in contact even now, discussing him, and he would have no idea.

“General,” Kylo said without moving or opening his eyes. “It’s hard to meditate with you yelling in my head.”

“You’re not supposed to be reading my thoughts.”

“I’m not. You’re projecting them. Loudly. I told you before, I don’t always have to read your thoughts to hear them.” Slowly, carefully, Ren opened his eyes a tiny bit and looked at Hux under his lashes, his head tilted back.

“Oh, right,” Hux said, remembering the night before they left the _Finalizer_. His eyes meet Ren’s. “I hope I’m not annoying the Supreme Leader too much with my random thoughts…”

“He hasn’t mentioned it,” Ren answered slowly. “I wouldn’t worry too much Hux, I doubt you are projecting far enough for him to hear you.” Hux inhaled sharply. Without thinking it through, he focused all his energy on Kylo, bringing his words into sharp clarity, aiming them at the knight.

_He’s not who you think he his, Kylo. He’s not a real teacher of the Force- he’s got some other agenda. You’re stronger than him. He’s terrified of you. Possessive of you._

Hux didn’t have to wait long to see if he had gotten through. Even before the last thought had left his mind, Kylo was on his feet, grabbing Hux by the front of his jacket.

“He said you would try and turn me against him,” Kylo said, burning with anger. “I told him that was impossible, that you were a loyal servant of the First Order, loyal to him. But he was right.”

 _Stupid stupid stupid…_ Hux thought, not sure if he was referring to himself or Ren.

“Kylo!” he gasped, trying to get a purchase on Ren’s arms as he pulled back. If he let him get free, he would either run Hux through with his lightsaber or go straight to Snoke. Hux preferred not to find out what Snoke would do to him.

Ren pulled out of his hands and Hux made one more desperate lunge for him, just managing to grab his wrist, jerking him forward. Before he could think of what he was doing, he reached up and held Kylo’s face the same way Han Solo had, his thumb on his now scarred cheek, looking into his eyes.

“Kylo,” Hux said. There was another name, a more important name. “...Ben. Please. Listen to me.” Concentrating all his energy on the contact between them, Hux let the knight see the truth. He showed him Snoke from his point of view.

_He made you murder your own father. For nothing. He’s going to make you kill me. And your mother. He will make you destroy the universe for him. And then he will devour you._

Ren pulled his head back with a snap, as though Hux had burned him.

“No.”

“Ren, please-”

“NO!”

A blast of energy slammed into Hux, hitting him square in the chest and knocking him over the table, his body catching the edge and pulling it over with him as he smashed shoulder-first onto the floor. The table and chairs hit the ground a fraction of a second later. Hux gave one low moan of pain. He slowly rolled onto his uninjured side and briefly considered blacking out. A beautiful, angry, face appeared above his.

“Idiot,” Kylo mumbled, examining Hux’s shoulder. “It’s out of the socket.” He grasped Hux’s arm in his large hands. “This is going to hurt.” Hux reconsidered blacking out, but he was completely conscious as Kylo directed his joint back into its correct location. The pain eased once he was reassembled. Carefully sitting up, he cradled his sore arm across his chest.

“I’m not a traitor,” Hux said, his voice low and soft. “I showed you what I really saw, what I really felt. I’m not trying to trick you.”

“I know.” Kylo let out a long ragged sigh. He heaved in another breath, let it out. “That’s why I’m not going to tell him.” Ren looked at the ground, terrified and guilt stricken by his own admission. “I don’t see any reason to kill you just because you’re mistaken about my master. That can be corrected.” His eyes searched the ground in small rapid movements as he seemed to consider how to change Hux’s mind about Snoke without anyone being the wiser.

Hux breathed out, hope and despair warring in his mind. Kylo did not believe Snoke was a monster, but he was willing to disobey him to save his life. Hux decided he would take it.

***

Kylo had left the quarters a long time ago. Hux was in pain and he was trying to be stoic about it even with no one to see him wince. Maintaining his dignity made him feel more in control - more like himself - than if he were to lie on the bed whimpering.

He was trying hard not to admit it, but the longer Ren was gone, the more anxious Hux became. He was imagining all the things that could have happened: Ren could have decided to betray him after all, or Snoke may have overheard them somehow. He could be interviewing Ren right now. They might decide just to lock Hux in here and forget about him. He looked at the door, that same fear rushing over him. _What if the door didn’t open?_

Hux had been locked in rooms before. As a child it was one of the disciplinary actions his father used. He would lock Hux in a small space - usually a closet - and pretend to forget about him. Maybe Hux was being generous with his memory. It was quite probable that his father truly had forgotten about him, only to remember when Hux didn’t show up for training.

The door whooshed open and the knight stepped into the room. The chill air crackled with his presence. An expression of frustration showed clearly on his strong features and in the hunch of his shoulders.

“I couldn’t find a medbay,” he said, approaching the bed and stopping a meter away from where Hux sat, once again wearing the majority of his meager clothing with the blanket wrapped around him. He looked up at Kylo, jaw trembling as he tried in vain to control his shivering. He wasn’t sure what ached more, his shoulder or the cold.

“You were looking for the medbay?” Hux asked. He had been lost in memories, half on the verge of sleep, trying to come up with a survival plan that made any sense. The cold, pain, and fear were taking their toll on his thought process.

“Yes,” Kylo replied, looking down at him, something almost soft in his eyes. “I was trying to find some pain medication for your shoulder.” Hux tilted his head back, peering up at him, struggling to focus, to concentrate. It was important to maintain control, to not spiral down into the cold void he could sense forming under him, widening with every moment they stayed on this ship, every moment Kylo didn’t reject his master.

“No luck?” Hux guessed. He didn’t mention that if he’d been allowed to keep the sleeping draughts, they would have come in very useful after being thrown over a table by a demented Knight of Ren.

Kylo shook his head. Then slowly, as though not to startle him, he moved closer to the bed. He sat carefully on the edge of the mattress next to the general, whose eyes were widening in alarm.

“I think I can help,” Kylo said simply. He reached out and gently laid one of his long hands on Hux’s shoulder under the blanket, fingers splayed. At first, there was nothing but the warmth of Ren’s flesh soaking through his clothing, the heat itself a relief. Hux shivered a little less, got his shaking jaw under control. A soft pulse started in his shoulder joint, right at the point where it had been wrenched out, straining the tendons and muscles. It reminded Hux of the fluttering buzz he had felt before - on Starkiller Base, and later as he fell asleep - the warm current of the Force.

The feeling grew until Hux felt his shoulder glowing with it. It began to hurt. He could feel the tissues regenerating, the cells igniting with new life, ripped into regeneration by Kylo and the Force. Hux moaned at the pain and the warmth radiating out from his shoulder.

“I- I thought you weren’t- weren’t supposed to-” Hux began, worried vaguely about Snoke, but needing to feel the warmth Ren was letting seep slowly through his entire body. Even his toes and fingertips buzzed with heat.

“Shhh,” Kylo responded. “I caused this. Let me help.” Hux acknowledged to himself that Kylo had indeed been directly responsible for his dislocated shoulder. Ren gave a small snort. He must have been projecting again. He tried to reign it in, to hide his thoughts, make them quiet, a whisper.

The warmth was so...consuming. That was Kylo’s fault too, Hux mused, meeting the knight’s eyes for a moment, fighting to stay awake as the heat hummed through his frozen body, making it feel like a gray heating element finally glowing orange. It was Ren’s fault, he thought again. He had never realised he was cold until he had met him, now that’s all he was. He was ice. No, he thought, consciousness slipping away. Not ice. _I am like the rain, like cold gray rain..._

He fell asleep with his head resting against the wall.

***

He woke in the dim light still half sitting up. Hux slid down onto the bed, his neck sore from the awkward position he’d been in. He remembered his shoulder. Though stiff, it no longer hurt. As he rearranged himself under the blanket, he moved his arm and shoulder experimentally. No pain.

Kylo was lying at the very edge of the mattress facing away from him out into the room. He seemed to be murmuring. Hux felt the fluttering at the edge of his mind again, realizing that it was that sensation which had roused him from sleep. Ren was beginning to dream, and just like before, he was projecting into the general’s mind.

The first images didn’t seem too distressing. Hux lay on his side facing Kylo’s back, as much space as he could leave between them without falling off the edge. With half lidded eyes, Hux watched the dreams being projected into his mind. There were a few images of Ren’s family, indistinct, more like impressions. Kylo groaned softly, rolling onto his back, and the images shifted.

Hux could just make out Ren’s features in the dim light, could see his eyes moving under the lids. He was dreaming of that afternoon, of throwing Hux across the room with the Force. The general watched in fascination from Ren’s perspective as the knight tossed him as though he weighed nothing, the Force rolling out from him like a wave of pure emotion. Hux could sense Kylo’s feelings, that he had acted out of fear and panic, not simply anger. Hux felt Ren’s terror as soon as he unleashed that power and saw Hux’s body land heavily on the floor, the sound of the joint snapping free, the instant jolt of regret.

Kylo moaned in his sleep again, moving his head back and forth, trying to escape the image. Hux reached out and touched Kylo’s hair just above his ear, near his temple, right at the hairline. He smoothed his fingers lightly over the silken texture of that hair, just barely touching the skin of his temple and cheek.

 _It’s ok. I’m ok,_ Hux murmured through their connection. _You healed me. I’m right here. Sleep._

Kylo heaved a sigh, his eyes fluttering as if they would open. Instead he relaxed and went still, moving past dreams and into genuine sleep. Hux stopped moving his hand but left it tangled in Kylo’s long hair, ready to reach out again if dreams troubled him.

***

He was brought up out of the depths of sleep by Kylo shifting next to him, turning over. Strange, thought Hux drowsily. He had never slept in the same bed as another person. He had no idea how he felt about it.

Kylo was dreaming again, this time of healing Hux’s shoulder. His hand spread on his shoulder, the healing warmth reaching in, throbbing in the joint as it worked it’s way through his entire body.

Lying next to Kylo, facing each other now, Hux could feel the warmth filling him from Kylo’s memory, and he began to glow warm again with the heat of it. Sighing in contentment, his fingers still reaching out to Kylo, now just resting under his cheek where Ren had rolled over on them. Hux began to drift back into their tethered slumber.

Hux realized that the energy, which had been such a steady thread between them, was beginning to tremble and warp. The connection thrummed out of tune, the discord growing louder. Ren moved in his sleep, the image of healing Hux still playing in his mind, but Hux was losing the warmth of it. The heat was being funneled away. Their connection was no longer a wire of pure energy between them, instead it was arcing wildly to the side, being interrupted, stretched.

And then he was there. Snoke’s presence crashed into their peaceful unity with a dead weight.

 _Kylo Ren_ , Snoke’s presence thundered in both of their minds, _bring general Hux and come to me._

The two men sat bolt upright, looking at one another in panic.

“He saw, Ren,” Hux breathed. “He saw the memory of you healing me. I’m sure of it.” Kylos’ eyes were wide.

“We have to go to him.”

“Ren-” Hux began, but the knight was already on his feet, pulling on his boots. Hux frantically searched for some way to persuade Kylo to protect them against whatever it was Snoke was about to do. Kylo looked sharply at Hux, tossing him his boots.

“Don’t even ask me, Hux. He’s my master. I have to obey him.” Hux stared at him blankly for a moment. His shoulders slumped in defeat. He sat on the edge of the bed and slowly pulled on his boots.

***

Snoke was waiting for them, leaning forward anxiously on the dias as they entered and took their places before him. The creature's eyes were shining with intensity as his gaze bored into them. He struggled to keep his voice unaffected.

“So, Lord Ren,” he began. “You chose to disobey me and use your Force abilities before you were permitted.” To Hux, who sensed that Kylo could simply crush the creature on the throne with his mind if he so desired, Snoke’s use of the word _permission_ was ridiculous. He would have scoffed if he wasn’t so afraid.

“Yes, Master,” Ren confessed. “I used it once out of instinct and pushed General Hux, causing him to dislocate his shoulder. Afterwards, I healed his shoulder using the Force.”

Snoke’s eyes positively glinted at that, and he briefly licked his tongue over his thin lips. Hux shuddered in disgust.

“You have indeed grown powerful if you are able to heal others. I wish to see how it is done. Show me.”

Hux heard the sound of the bones in his right hand snapping before he felt the jolt of pain. Gasping with the sudden agony, he looked at his broken fingers in disbelief. Snoke had simply reached out with the Force and snapped them like twigs.

The pain drove him to his knees, all the air knocked out of his body. He could not scream, just gasp in oxygen and shudder it out again in a muling whine of suffering. He sat instinctively back on his heels, the hand lightly cradled to his chest as though he didn’t know what to do with it. Vaguely, he could make out Kylo’s cries of alarm. He felt his presence near him, saw his dark eyes searching his face, asking a question. Hux couldn’t make out the words. He just looked down at his hand when Kylo took it in his as gently as possible. At his touch, Hux discovered he could scream after all.

Ren worked quickly to knit the broken bones, concentrating all his energy on the task. It was much more complicated than the torn muscle of Hux’s shoulder. The bones began to fuse, but the energy creating the new cells burned Hux to his core. It was the dream of the lightsaber again, burning.

A voice, far away from his own writing body, standing somewhere in the calm void at the back of his mind, wondered if Kylo could have saved his father, even after he’d struck him down.

He felt Kylo gasp through their connection, then shove the thought aside to finish mending his fractured hand. When it was at last done and nothing remained but a throbbing ache, Hux was ashamed to discover tears had been running down his face. He wiped them away hastily. Snoke was sitting forward, nearly panting in anticipation.

“Is it done?” he asked. “Did you do a thorough job healing his hand; no mistakes?” Kylo took Hux’s hand and examined it carefully. He looked into Hux’s eyes, his own full of an emotion Hux couldn’t read.

“He is fully mended, Master,” Kylo replied evenly, his face looking tired, his shoulders drooping.

“Good. Very good,” Snoke said. “But you are exhausted from the effort. You need to be stronger for the task I have in mind for you. Maybe you simply need more practice to build your strength.” Snoke’s eyes flicked to Hux, and he swore he saw a smile on that monster’s face. “Thank you, General Hux. You are proving most effective as Lord Ren’s assistant.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

I am left   
in the depth of my sea   
a sea of stars that do no shine   
eaten by a darknesshardnessvastness   
torn by bloody teeth   
my fingernails still scratching   
desperate/ frightened/ h.e.l.p.l.e.s.s.l.y   
at these 4 walls

I am left   
swallowed whole   
marking the days w/ bloodcaked fingertips   
in the belly my personal beast   
counting: onetwothreefour.onetwothreefour   
longing for the freedom   
that is nowhere to be found   
dark > light is eating me alive

I am left – I'm gone - I am undone.   
(did father want this for his son?)

             -B. Hux, memories from childhood

 

Poem by [mrlsqu](http://mrlsqu.tumblr.com/)

 

 

Hux told himself there was still hope. As long as he was alive, there was a chance he would make it. He was resourceful. He had survived a lot of bleak situations. He would survive this. He was also aware that he was lying.

There was something in him - some small voice - that still wanted to live. It tried to convince the rest of him to stick with it awhile longer - keep breathing, drink water, eat ration packs- it wanted him to stay alive until he couldn’t.

Kylo healed him quickly every time he was brought before Snoke. Each snapped bone, every skin laceration, healed almost as if it hadn't been inflicted. Almost. The pain left its own mark inside Hux, in a place Kylo couldn't reach, couldn't heal.

“You’re stronger than him,” Hux whispered urgently, when they were alone in their quarters. “Why do you think he’s manipulating you so frantically? You could leave any time you want, and he’s terrified that you will.”

“No...:” Kylo’s eyes had gone wide, the pupils blown, taking over the brown irises.

“Yes,” Hux hissed. “Only you can get us out of here, Kylo. He...he’s going to kill me,” he said simply, truthfully. Ren was shaking. They both were.

“I-” Kylo began, then paused, listening to something Hux could only vaguely sense. “He’s summoning us,” he said, his face going blank. Hux’s stomach dropped.

“No, Ren. No... _please_ ,” Hux whispered, begged, hating himself, terrified of being hauled into that audience chamber again, in front of those hateful, knowing eyes. Burning him alive with their possessive jealousy. Breaking him.

As Kylo worked in a frantic rush to repair bone and skin, Hux thought about the super-weapon he had helped create. That ripping pillar of corrupted light burning through the sky. The sickly red flame tearing the life away from five inhabited worlds, the atmosphere going up in flame around the people, the birds, the beasts.

He used to know why it had been important to take those lives. He did not anymore. The pain had taken it away, muddied the reasoning, turned the glorious vision of the First Order into something he could not see clearly, its once defined edges blurry and indistinct. He could not remember what it was exactly he had wished to accomplish with that blast of fire, screaming up through the heavens, slicing through space with a banshee cry of fury and death.

All he could remember were the tiny atoms in his mind, popping like bubbles and dispersing, their energy released into the void, never to return.

There was a small part of Hux that did not come back from the sessions with Snoke.

When they were alone in their quarters at night, Kylo lay next to Hux, not speaking, sending him warmth through the Force so he could fall asleep; Hux reaching out a numb hand to Kylo’s shoulder when he had a nightmare, comforting him out of reflex, just enough to quiet him.

It went on long enough for every bone in Hux’s body to be broken and mended. He began to wonder if he was even himself anymore, or if he had been entirely remade. Kylo bringing him to life over and over again, cells ripped into existence through his will, the fierce determination that he could not let Hux suffer. Allowing it to continue all the same.

His cells had been turned over by Kylo, and he was no longer himself, no longer entirely, truly, human. The dark magic he had once scoffed at had reformed him into a new being. He had no idea what he was. He was not real. Yet that small voice wanted him to keep enduring, whispering empty promises of hope.

The day Snoke broke his back and severed his spinal column, Hux heard that voice go silent with shock. He could still sense it there, wanting to live, but it hesitated to tell him everything was going to be fine. It just stared up, out of himself, somewhere deep in the dark, quiet at last.

That was the day Snoke laughed.

Kylo had healed the damage completely, and Hux had been ordered to walk around the chamber in order to prove the full repair. Snoke’s eyes gleamed and he nodded to himself.

“General Hux,” he said, “that will be all for today. Please take a well-deserved rest in your quarters.” Both men turned to leave. “Lord Ren, I wish for you to stay behind. I have an important matter to discuss with you.” Kylo looked at Hux with a sort of dread, whether for himself or for Hux, the general couldn’t tell.

Hux marched slowly to their shared quarters and threw himself on the bed, not caring that he was sweaty from the the last “training” session. The sweat turned into a new torture as it cooled on his skin. So cold. He almost didn’t care. He almost let go in that moment. The void trembled in anticipation. Instead, he grabbed the blanket and rolled up in it, immediately passing out.

***

Hux felt himself being lifted from the bed. He tried to struggle, to open his eyes, but a firm restraint clamped down on his mind, holding him immobile. Even his thoughts turned sluggish. He searched for some defense, some plan to escape the heavy sensation holding him still as he was carried through the echoing corridors. He felt himself being set down on a hard surface.

 _I'm sorry_. The words appeared in his mind along with a flash of regret and pain. Then he was alone. Finally able to move, Hux opened his eyes and saw that he was in a cell. The door was shut. He was locked in the small room, alone. Kylo had left him here. He was forgotten.

For the first time in over twenty years, General Hux - commander of Starkiller Base, smiter of the Republic, captain of the _Finalizer_ \- lay on his side in the cold and sobbed his heart out.

***

“Ah, General Hux, so good of you to join us,” Snoke greeted him from the dias, seated on the blocky throne as usual. Hux stood as straight as he could, mustering as much dignity as possible, and faced the Supreme Leader with a neutral face. He felt a tug from Kylo’s mind, a stray thought of pride at Hux’s small show of defiance. Snoke looked between the two of them and sneered.

Hux was - out of all things he could have been at that moment - annoyed. Snoke was acting almost jealous. _Strange_ , Hux thought. _Not that he has anything to be jealous of._ He glanced at Kylo and then away before their eyes could meet.

Hux had been locked in the cell long enough to have slept twice and eaten two of the ration packs Kylo left for him. That was his only way of counting time. He thought of it as two days, though he had no way to truly gauge the hours that had passed.

He had felt Ren reach out to him across the distance between the cell and the room they had shared, trying to help him keep warm. He had accepted at first, but when he sensed Ren’s desperate dreams, all featuring himself and his bones snapping and cracking apart as Kylo worked frantically to put him back together, Hux finally figured out a way to block him.

In his mind, he slipped backwards in time. He found the small closet in the gray house on a planet full of cold rain; and all by himself, he stepped into the cramped space and shut the door.

 _You will forget me. When I am in here, I do not exist_ , Hux insisted through the Force, straight into Kylo’s mind. He felt the other man fight him, but he stayed quiet, making himself smaller in the tiny space, barely breathing. Eventually he could sense Ren searching blindly, fumbling for him with the Force, unable to locate him. As if he truly didn’t exist.

Snoke leaned menacingly over them, his jealousy becoming apparent. Hux began to notice something else, something that caught his attention and captivated it. Leader Snoke no longer looked quite as frail. The boney fingers over the armrests looked fleshier than before, the skin no longer sunken and wrinkled. Hux looked up to his face. The scars remained, as did the disproportion of his features, but he looked stronger, his eyes less sunken. He looked.. _.younger_ , Hux realized.

“You are finally able to see some of the benefits reaped through our training sessions, general,” Snoke said with a haughty flourish. Then to his amazement, the creature stood to his full height and swept gracefully down the stairs.

“As you can see, Lord Ren has been putting his new skills to good use. It is rather _glorious_ to walk so freely on my own two feet again.” Snoke began to pace in a slow circle around where Hux stood, keeping his eyes trained down on him, his head rising taller than either of the two men.

“And to think,” he continued, “all of that power unleashed in such a short amount of time. I, of course, have been preparing him for this destiny from the moment I first felt the light and the dark warring within him. I thought to myself, _Ah, now here is a true child of the Force._ And I was correct.” With the last words he looked fondly at Kylo, brushing one spidery hand over the knight’s shoulder in a caress as he passed him, continuing in his tightening spiral towards Hux.

“You, see, my dear general, Kylo Ren needed someone to feel affection for, enough affection to ignite the healing flames within him. I at first thought it would happen with his father, that when faced with the possibility of losing a thing so dear to him, he would naturally reach out and heal him out of regret and shame.” He stopped his hypnotizing pace for a moment to turn and look at Kylo. “I think that he would have, if Solo hadn’t fallen. I could sense you in that moment, Kylo, wanting to reach out to him, catch him. You almost did. But you hesitated just a moment too long. I felt your mother through the Force, unable to stand, sensing, not her beloved Han’s death-,” Snoke’s face was dangerously close to Ren’s. “No. She sensed your hesitation to save him.”

Kylo was shaking with emotion, beyond the point of tears, at the very edge of what his mind could bare. Snoke turned from him and continued circling Hux, the long legs steady, flowing in a youthful stride.

“Although I had planned for Lord Ren to come here with his father, to use him as an _incentive,_ I had to come up with a replacement.” Still circling. “When I saw Hux react to your suffering, Kylo Ren, I knew he would work very well. And the fact that he is Force sensitive as well not only added to the delightful irony of the situation, but also aided in your abilities. As it turned out, the general was a much better choice than Han Solo. Destiny, it seems, smiles in my favor.”

Snoke was passing within arm’s reach of Hux now, and every so often, one of his long hands would trail across his chest, his back, barely touching, just gliding over the fabric of his shirt. Hux felt his flesh shudder in revulsion at the touch, wanting to flinch away in disgust. It was then he realized he was being held in place by the iron hand of the Force.

“I had not, however, anticipated how strongly attached you would become to your little pet,” He said to Kylo, before glancing at Hux. “I had planned on simply ordering him to kill you, my good general, but I sense he would have too much trouble with that at the moment, and really, it’s not as fitting as I had once thought.” Circling around slowly, getting closer, the touches still infrequent, still light. “I recently decided, therefore, that when the time comes, I will simply release you out an airlock, General Hux. I think that being unable to rescue you will be a more fitting punishment for Kylo Ren’s misplaced affection than directly ending your life.”

The room groaned with unused Force energy, Kylo holding back from atomizing the audience chamber with the small amount of self control he still possessed.

“Do not trouble yourself, Kylo,” Snoke said, turning his attention briefly to the knight. “I am not going to dispose of him yet. Not until _you_ ask me to.” Silence. Circling. “In the meantime,” he continued, “my physicians will be arriving. They will participate in our reconstruction sessions by giving you guidance with the more delicate work.” Here he gestured to his face.

Though not as imminently threatening as it had been a moment before, the destructive power of Ren’s rage was still snapping in the air all around them.

“You are strong when he is near,” Snoke commented, a little envy creeping into his tone. “I think it would be of benefit to have him in attendance while I am being restored. Don’t worry,” he said circling closer to Kylo, “soon you will transfer all those misguided feelings you currently have for our dear general to one truly worthy of them.” Snoke trailed off wistfully, as though caught by an entrancing thought.

“I need to choose my new face,” he continued after a moment, gliding towards Hux once more. “You seem to be rather fond of this one-” his long fingers glided cold over Hux’s cheek. “What do you think, Kylo? You have put him together enough times to have memorized that bone structure, and the surgeons could do the rest. Would his features suit me?” Snoke turned to Ren, his hand up to his own face then, as if feeling the smooth skin that would soon cover the sunken hollow under his fingers, head leaning to one side. He looked almost coy. Hux’s stomach lurched.

Ren was shaking. _It’s too much,_ Hux thought. _He’s gone too far_. He resigned himself to death then, apologizing to the still silent voice inside him, the one that wanted so desperately to live. He was either going to die that moment, in an explosion of fire as Kylo lost control, or he would be left to the void. Burn or freeze. Hux almost laughed, but he knew the laughter would dissolve into screaming, so he remained quiet.

“You may escort the general back to is cell,” Snoke said, breaking free of his reverie. “Don’t fret,” he said addressing Kylo. “We will rule together. You will forget him.”

Ren wheeled and strode out of the audience chamber, Hux close behind him. Neither spoke as they made their way back to the holding cell. When they got to the tiny room, Kylo walked straight in and turned to look at Hux. There was a look on his face Hux had never seen before. He had no idea what it meant or what to do about it, but he wanted to make it go away, to never see that look in his dark eyes again.

“Hux,” Kylo said, his voice low, hoarse. “When we were on the command shuttle...right before Sno-...before the command ship appeared…” Ren’s eyes searched his and he could feel the fear in him, the hope, the anguish. “Right before, you were saying something...something important.” He paused again, looking at Hux to make sure he remembered. He did. “What was it, what were you going to say?” Hux heaved a sigh. Since that moment, centuries had passed.

“It doesn’t matter, Kylo. It was just a foolish thought.”

“Tell me,” Ren whispered. “I need to know. I...I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, about that moment when…” He trailed off, but Hux heard the thought in his mind. _When we were still free_ , Kylo had almost said.

“We have never been free, Ren,” Hux responded. His knees felt weak. He wanted to sit down on the hard cot, but he remained standing, maintained eye contact. “Neither of us has ever been free. We have been twisted and manipulated by evil men with agendas of their own. Men who want to use us up as they grow old and feeble. Feeding on our strength until, until it comes to this,” he said, gesturing to himself and Kylo, to the cell, the battleship, the void. “And _we let them_.”

Hux was furious then. Part of him knew he should conserve strength, and this anger would burn all that remained, strip out his will and leave him cold and hollow. For now, however, it made him warm, glowing with energy. Not the frightening rage of Kylo’s power, but still, it was the Force. It was the light. Kylo stared at him with wide eyes, sensing the brightness in Hux, squinting slightly as if he could see the radiance flowing from him in that moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said. Hux was taken aback by that. His anger dwindled, replaced by confusion. “I still want to know what you were going to say on the shuttle, Hux. It’s...it’s important to me.” Silence. Hux sighed, giving in.

“You were talking about training that girl from Jakku. That it would make you feel good to be able to train someone. I was going to say, what if...what if you trained _me_? What if we were to go someplace, and you could teach me to use the Force.” Kylo stared, his mouth dropping open a fraction. “I told you it didn’t matter,” Hux said, feeling foolish.

Ren looked at him for another moment before turning and vanishing through the door. He didn’t even shut it as he left. Hux wondered idly if he was supposed to lock himself in.

***

When the physicians arrived, Kylo came to fetch Hux. He found him wandering around the ship, not seemingly up to anything in particular. He was in a corridor when Ren at last caught up to him, tracking him through the Force.

“This is dangerous,” Kylo said as he stalked down the hallway towards him.

“Oh,” Hux replied. “I would hate for something _bad_ to happen to me.” Kylo went very still, his face shattering, twisting into deep emotions. “Don’t, Kylo!” Hux almost screamed, going from sarcastic to furious in a moment. “You are not allowed to have a breakdown over me, I refuse.”

Kylo’s eyes began to fill will tears. Hux pulled his hand back, and with all his might, slapped Ren across the face. His head whipped to the side and he froze there, his dark hair a shroud, concealing him. When he turned back to face Hux’s burning eyes, he was calm. He simply nodded and gestured for Hux to follow him as they strode towards the audience chamber side-by-side.

A new pattern emerged in the sessions with Snoke. Ren would come to find Hux wherever it was he had wandered, never very far from the holding cell where he still went to sleep and ate the dwindling rations. Ren may have guessed that Hux had already tried gaining entrance to the docking bay, and that he had not been able to break his way in, despite an entire night of trying.

Once Hux was collected, they headed to the audience chamber which had been turned into a bizarre operating room. Kylo and the surgeons took turns carefully reconstructing Snoke’s face. The physicians would cut and rearrange bits of bone and flesh, tendons and cartilage, and then Ren would be there, healing and giving life to the tissue. So far, Hux was relieved to see that the face being constructed was not his own, as Snoke had threatened. It instead looked as though it may have been the creature’s own face from when he was young and undamaged.

Kylo also worked on restoring and strengthening the rest of Snoke’s frail body. Muscle was regenerated, flesh was smoothed. He retained his long thin lines, but his shoulders, back, and chest began filling out and he no longer looked shrunken.

Hux was deeply unnerved by the process. Kylo expended much more effort over these sessions than he had repairing Hux, as if the one had come easily to him and the other did not. The knight was drained after each session, taking longer to recover the further along the procedures progressed. The surface repairs seemed almost complete, but Ren still worked tirelessly healing Snoke, giving him his energy, making him young.

That was the most terrifying part to Hux. Snoke had begun to look truly young. Hux realized it when they had approached him that morning, taking their station in front of him, the physicians lining up beside the dias, silent as always. Snoke leaned forward in his usually expectant manner. He now looked to be about Ren’s age. Hux had blinked, not trusting his eyes. Snoke’s face was smooth, the flesh perfect, the muscles that moved under the skin looked strong, the jaw and cheeks symmetrical.

Snoke turned his gaze on Hux then, waiting while Hux investigated his appearance. The Supreme Leader’s skull was perfectly shaped and proportioned, elegant on his long slender neck. He had a thin, strong mouth, turned slightly up in amusement at Hux’s staring. It was only the eyes that gave away the age of the creature before them, those reptilian eyes of something ancient and evil.

Hux looked him over for a moment longer, and then, against his will, the thought trailed across his mind that the creature was almost...lovely. Snoke laughed at that, reaching inside his head for exactly that thought. Even his voice had changed quality, becoming richer, lyrical. He stood, towering over them from the dias for a moment before making his graceful way down to the waiting men. He passed by Hux and went to stand by Kylo, turning so the two stood next to each other, both looking strong, terrifying...and beautiful. Snoke was taunting Hux with the vision they presented; the soon to be rulers of the galaxy.

The general clenched his fists, unable to look away. Snoke smiled his coy smile, looking more natural on that restored face, although no less gut-wrenching to Hux. He walked slowly over to him on his long legs, robes flowing. They were new, Hux realized. Something about the vanity revealed in that small fact made him sneer. Snoke leaned over him, bringing his face down so they were eye-to-eye.

“I have learned something disturbing about our mutual friend,” Snoke purred in his renewed voice, the timbre rich and sensual. “I am sure, that between the two of us, we can rectify the matter,” he said, straightening back up to his full height and beginning to circle Hux slowly.

“It seems,” Snoke continued, “that our dear Kylo Ren is thinking of leaving. He has been a little too interested in the physician’s ship. I believe he has gone so far as to obtain the access codes, though I am sure he could use the Force to obtain the same objectives. There are a lot of things our knight is capable of that he doesn’t yet realize…” Snoke trailed off. “Ah, but that’s not your concern, general. You, sadly, will not be around to see his progress.”

Snoke drifted over to Kylo, eyes dropping down to the knight’s face, searching it. He circled him slowly, not touching him. Snoke moved continuously. He never hurried, but he never ceased moving, fluid and dangerous.

“Where are you thinking of running to, _my dear?_ Your father is gone, your mother knows that you not only ran him through, but that you failed to use your power to save him. You let him fall down the shaft, still alive. You can’t return to the _Finalizer_ , for of course, I would be forced to alert them immediately to the fact that you are a traitor.”

He paused, tilting his head to the side as he examined the effect his words had on Ren, calculating. Kylo was attempting, admirably, to keep his power under control. He shot Hux a quick look, the misery clear in his eyes. _Kylo wanted to save us_ , Hux thought. For the first time in weeks, the little voice inside of him that wanted to live shifted in the dark and began paying attention.

“ _Why_ , Kylo?” Snoke was using his most hurt tone, gazing intently into Kylo’s eyes. “Why would you even consider turning your back on me after all I’ve done for you, all I’ve sacrificed? I found you when you were nothing but a frustrated boy, struggling with the light and the dark, abandoned by those who should have understood. They sent you to live in exile with a bunch of emotionless monks. You never had a chance to learn your true powers until I took you under my wing. Look how much you’ve accomplished because of me, because I saw your potential, because I helped you. Don’t you owe me your loyalty?”

“Yes, Master,” Kylo whispered.

 _No!_ Hux threw the word at Kylo in his mind. He couldn’t succumb to this, not now. Not when he had wanted to save them. Snoke spun on Hux, his face livid for just a split second, showing the general his true nature for just a moment before the calm mask dropped back into place. Hux knew, then, what they were truly up against. In that small unguarded moment, Hux had seen the polluted fire of Starkiller Base radiate from the Supreme Leader’s face. He had siphoned off Kylo’s pure white light and corrupted it, turned into a sickly red instrument of death. He shuddered remembering the shattering atoms of millions of lives, calling out and then suddenly silenced. Starkiller might be gone, but the true weapon remained, as long as Snoke had Kylo to use as fuel.

“Lord Ren,” Snoke said slowly, his composure regained. “It is time. Ask me to send General Hux to the airlock.” Shocked silence from Kylo. “I know it’s difficult. You have become attached, and I suppose there must be some sentiment over your brief history together. Maybe you are even grateful that he has helped you gain so much control over your ability in such a short time.

“However, it is that compassion I want you to consider now. If I send him back to the _Finalizer,_ I will be forced to report that he is no longer loyal to the First Order, no longer serves their glorious cause. I have seen enough of his thoughts to know that he will never be _General_ Hux again. What will they do to him, Lord Ren? What do they do to traitors aboard Star Destroyers?” Kylo was looking fearfully between Snoke and Hux. He didn’t need to answer the question out loud. All three of them knew he faced a slow tortuous death at the hands of his former subordinates. Not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.

“You may wonder why he can’t stay and serve us,” Snoke continued. “But that would be cruel of you, Kylo Ren, for a different reason. Now that he’s bonded with you, foolish and simple as it seems, he won’t be able to tolerate your devotion to me. He could barely keep a handle on his jealously even before you joined me here. He thought of me as a- what was it general? Oh yes, a _monster_.” Snoke was pacing behind Ren and he sneered over the knight’s head at Hux.

“So you see,” he concluded, coming back into Kylo’s line of sight and softening his features, “this is actually a kindness. If you don’t ask me to send him to a quick and relatively painless end, then I will be forced to have him transported under guard back to the _Finalizer_ for processing.” He looked at Kylo beseechingly, his most charming expression brought to bear on the knight’s emotions.

Master and apprentice looked at one another. Ren gazed into Snoke’s ancient eyes, trying desperately to find the faith this creature’s words had once kindled. Hux could feel the conflict. Kylo had given so much of himself to Snoke, to the quest for the dark side of the Force. Now he realized that being a Sith was just an impossible dream, just as it had been when he wanted to be a Jedi. He was neither. He was both.

Ren turned his head slightly to search Hux’s face from across the space that separated them. Hux didn’t know what to do. He wanted to reassure Ren, to send him something, but the pain had taken so much away, and the small vital voice of life was quiet within him. All he could do was stare at Ren, blank and open, knowing he would be abandoned to the void. He decided that he would pull himself into that small space in his mind, the place where he did not exist, and when he floated out into the blackness, when the void stole his heat once and for all, it would not matter. He would no longer be there.

“Please put General Hux in the airlock.” Kylo responded slowly, still searching Hux’s face from across the room. “And put me in there in with him.”

Snoke’s face changed from triumph to rage in an instant. He roared in frustration, his patient facade giving way to the polluted red flame of anger underneath. He turned on Kylo with lightning speed, and for a moment looked as if he would strike him. Snoke contained himself at the last minute, instead turning and reaching out a hand towards Hux. Ren shot forward as Hux felt an icy grip around his heart, squeezing around the pumping organ, constricting it tighter and tighter.

“Stop!” Snoke commanded Ren. “One move and I’ll burst his heart. If you try and heal him I will burst every organ in his body. There’s no way even you could reconstruct him in time.” Ren stepped back, shaking suddenly, almost uncontrollably, as though he were at last going to break. Hux could hear the small keening inside Ren’s mind, reaching out to Hux with longing and dread. It was only then that Hux realized his own small voice, the one that wanted to live, the voice that  remembered the rain, that voice was reaching out to Kylo in return.

He could sense Kylo concentrating then, in that second before Snoke squeezed. Hux felt another sensation in his chest, a warm slip of light, wrapping around his heart under the squeezing vice. It spread to his mind, his lungs, shielding his inner body from the dark energy that gripped him. Snoke let out a wail of anger - _like the scream of red fire_ , Hux had a moment to think - and there was an explosion inside Hux’s chest. His ribs shattered, taking the reflective blow that was meant to fall inward, had been intended to rip his heart to shreds. Ren was holding it in a warm grip of light, protecting it from Snoke. Hux crumpled, broken but alive, his heart safe, beating furiously now that it had been freed.

Over the whimper of his own pain, Hux heard a sound that was entirely new. It wasn’t even a sound, it was a sense beyond hearing. A fierce battle being waged with the Force alone. Neither Snoke nor Kylo was holding a weapon beyond their own power. Hux could pick up pieces of the duel through his connection with Kylo. Snoke was trying to blind the knight, striking out blasts of invisible energy directed at his eyes, but Kylo was deflecting them. Instead of attacking, Ren was trying to restrain Snoke’s hands, shield himself from the dark Force energy being blasted at him. As soon as Ren succeeded in pinning Snoke’s hands, the creature sent destructive waves of energy in Hux’s direction. Kylo was ready this time and threw a shield over Hux. Snoke was able to break free of Ren’s restraints at the distraction, striking out again, Ren deflecting him more and more easily as Snoke seemed to tire, his newly restored body not completely renewed in its energy.

Kylo was easily overpowering Snoke, though still reluctant to kill him. The creature called out to the physicians in desperation, who had already gathered around the pair, waiting for commands from their Leader. They had shed their cloaks, revealing trained fighter’s bodies underneath, not Force sensitive, but strong.

“Kill him!” he shouted, and for a second Hux was terrified that they might manage to bring Ren down, as improbable as that was. Then he realized that Snoke hadn’t been telling them to kill the knight. Snoke still needed Kylo. No, it was Hux they came after drawing their blasters in unison and aiming at his head, his heart.

Kylo reached out frantically, deflecting blasts, freezing some in midair, redirecting others. He took down a few of the physicians with their own blaster fire, reversing the trajectory of their beams. The blasters went flying out of their owner’s hands, crumpling into lumps of useless metal.

Snoke took advantage of Ren’s distraction to reach out and grab his face in a mockery of the way his father and Hux had, digging his fingers into his cheek, his thumbnail biting into the scar. The creature panted, leaning close, possessive.

“You are _mine!_ ” he hissed. “You belong to _me_.”

One of the physicians managed to get his foot on Hux’s shattered ribcage, holding him steady while another drew out a surgical blade. He grabbed Hux by the hair, forcing his head back and exposing his jugular. He aimed and raised his hand.

“No!” Kylo screamed, turning from Snoke long enough to throw Hux’s attackers clear of him. The one holding the blade recovered from the Force blow - not human, Hux realized, seeing him clearer - and went for him again. This time there was a sickening crunch and the being fell to the ground with a broken neck. The few that were left kept coming after Hux, Ren dispatching them until there was silence.

Snoke was gone. Kylo turned towards the chamber door, considering whether he could catch up to him in time to prevent him leaving the ship, when Hux gasped once and began coughing up blood. Ren instantly turned back to him and dropped to his knees at his side.

“One of your broken ribs punctured a lung when that creature stepped on you,” Kylo said quietly working quickly to repair the damage. Hux huffed at the familiar pain of mending tissues and knitting bones. Ren was checking him over for more damage when the knight suddenly got that far away look in his eyes, the one that usually meant a summons from Snoke.

“Snoke’s left the ship...He’s taken the physician’s shuttle...He’s connected to the staff on the bridge, ordering them to...” Kylo came back to himself with a jerk. “We have to get to the bridge.” Hux nodded as Kylo heaved him to his feet and they began running through the corridors, moving as fast as Hux could go, Kylo careful not to loose him in the maze. He reached out briefly with the Force, steadying Hux, and they were able to pick up the pace.

“What is he doing?” Hux panted.

“Arming the self destruct,” Kylo called over his shoulder.

“Perfect,” Hux muttered, just managing to keep pace with Kylo.

The bridge doors were sealed when they reached them. Ren reached out a hand and the control panel sparked. Moving his hand again, the blast doors slid open, and the two men entered the bridge. About a dozen humanoids stopped what they were doing and looked at them. Or rather, their smooth faceless heads turned their way.

Hux watched as Ren gritted his teeth in concentration as the beings slowly began advancing on them. The knight’s hands flew up, attempting to hold them off. The beings stopped and started erratically, receiving opposing commands, stuttering in their movements, conflicted. They attempted to reach the two men for just a moment longer before they all collapsed to the floor in unision. Ren drew a shuddering breath.

“Snoke has just jumped to hyperspace. He’s too far away to control them,” Kylo said. He looked at Hux for a moment. Then he collapsed in a heap, utterly drained.

Hux went up to one of the faceless beings and probed it in the side with the toe of his boot. Getting no response, he walked over to where Ren sat hunched with his back leaning against a console. Hux slipped down to sit next to him. They rested in silence for a moment, staring out the enormous viewscreen at the black expanse.

“Are we currently in any danger?” Hux asked, his command training surfacing after weeks of neglect. He could feel Kylo scanning the ship with the Force.

“I don’t sense any,” he answered.

“Does this ship have fuel?”

“It should.”

“All systems functional? Engines? Hyperdrive? Weapons?”

“Should all be top-of-the-line.”

“Can we get these things functional again?” Hux motioned to the faceless bridge crew.

“I mean, we will have to figure out what they are first, but I think it should be possible.”

“You saved me.” Hux looked at him in awe. Ren looked back, his head resting on the panel behind him, a slow smile spreading on his tired face. He shrugged.

“You saved me too,” he responded. “More than once.” As they sat looking at each other, the black void wheeling out the enormous viewscreen, the two small beings inside each man reached slowly out through the Force, small fingers of energy at last clasping one another, joyous at the connection, so long withheld. Hux’s heart gave a violent start at the feeling of their energy intertwining, fusing them into one as they gazed into one another, whole at last. Hux took a shuddering breath, feeling warm and alive, though exhausted.

“Kylo?”

“Yes?”

“What do we believe in?” Hux paused, not sure how to express himself, how to ask the question he wanted to ask. “I mean, we have a ship now.” He gestured around them. “Snoke will tell the First Order we have defected and they will hunt us down. And, well... _have_ we defected?”

The small voices inside each of them continued to hum in contentment at being together. Hux could feel Kylo thinking, searching around for the emotions that would tell him what to do, as Hux searched for facts and logic.

“If we have defected,” Kylo said slowly, “then who’s side are we on? Do we have a side?” Hux shrugged, imitating Kylo’s mannerism.

“Not Snoke’s side,” he said decisively. Kylo shivered, and Hux sensed Ren’s anguish over what Snoke had done to them. What he had made Kylo do.

“No, not his side,” he agreed.

“Do you think they’ll build another Starkiller?”

“Probably. It was a very efficient weapon. Very efficient at mass death.” Hux remembered being told that Kylo had fallen to his knees when the red light had crashed into its targets. Kylo sensed his thought.

“You felt it too.”

“Yes.” Silence for another moment. The void spinning outside. “Snoke is like Starkiller,” Hux said simply. Kylo nodded. “He’ll come back for you. He needs you. You’re what fuels him, like the sun.” 

“Yes,” he agreed. “But he will have to catch me first.”

“Kylo?” Hux asked, on the verge of falling asleep despite all the decisions that had to be made, equipment checks that had to be conducted, the plans to construct.

“Yes?” Ren’s voice was on the verge of sleep too. They were leaning slightly together now, their shoulders touching. Hux let his head rest lightly against Kylo’s, the red and black strands pressed together.

“If they do build another super-weapon...will we stop them?” His eyes were heavy now, too heavy to open. Kylo was drifting into sleep next to him, warm and solid.

“Yes,” he whispered right before sleep claimed them both.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have loved taking this journey with you, but it's not over yet. Part 2 coming soon.
> 
> Come find me: mothdustmouth.tumblr.com


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